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I think this is an issue that many parents deal with when their children get older and have vehicles. The thing is that you both have to have respect for one another and the "child" has to observe the niceties as they share your home. Otherwise, they are just using you. I suggest you have a talk with the child, mutually setting expectations and then follow through if he doesn't. Things are bad, not horrible, if they are maintaining school attendance and grades--don't believe the child. Obtain copies of progress reports and report cards from school. If the child is not producing, show them the way to a GED and to a job. Then, if you own the car, retrieve the keys and stop paying the insurance. Change the locks on the doors and windows so they have to knock to get back in. If you are providing for expenses, and/or a cell phone, cut them off. These are all privileges that are earned by contributing to the household. You can also redecorate the room, and pack up their belongings.

This all sounds tough, but believe me, it only gets worse the longer you put up with it. You can be firm and still tell the child you love them, and ask them to dinner. Delayed maturity and growth just costs you worry and money as the child gets older and brings higher expenses with them. Credit cards, children they can't or won't care for, sponging of you because they can't afford a home, and drug problems are possible future issues.

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16y ago

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