What was it like being a single mother in the 1800?

Answer 1

In the 1800s, communities still revolved around church and the Bible. Unwed women shouldn't have sex and an unwed pregnant woman was an object of ridicule and shaming. Churches often sanctioned both 'types' of women, so they could not partake in services or communion. Other churches removed membership until the woman showed she repented. If her family could afford to do it, many women got sent away to a relative. HOWEVER, unwed pregnancies did occur in all centuries, in almost every country had women who were for one reason or another "unwed" before conception. With research of local marriage records in the US, one who knows the date of birth for a first child can see the marriage often happened late in pregnancy. Of these marriages, most couples went on to have more children within the marriage.

Readers must remember, in US colonial days, men were often away. Conception may have already occurred but the couple couldn't marry until the man returned. But the religiously based shaming was fairly routine for unwed mothers.

As far as where an expectant mom lived, if she did not go to a relative, she continued to live with her family, even after the birth. Her father often assumed economic care of the child. Often, since the child's surname was the same as the mother's father, the father and mother of the unwed girl 'became' the 'parents' of the newborn. Note: These were not adoptions; there is no legal record. But you may find in the US Census another young baby claimed by a woman in her 40s or 50s, after her childbearing years... the baby is often a daughter's child or a relative's child.

Life in the 1800s was often a matter of necessity. Extended families were the norm-- so three generations often lived together.