What would be the problem with a wife who feels it necessary to leave every time she does not get her way about childish issues?

Answer 1

She may not have experience with the importance of communication. She does not know and hasn't had experience with effective methods of handling anger. Sometimes it can be a good thing for her to "get away" if she needs time to cool off before she says something to you in anger, but doesn't really mean it. The issues are definitely not childish to her & if you really want to help her, empathize with her feelings. Individual and/or couples counseling can make a world of difference in a marriage.

AnswerPeople tend to learn by trial and error to find the results that give a rewarding feeling.

In this case she might experience your reactions to her leaving rewarding. Try to react in a way she doesn't find reqarding. Ignoring often helps, but maybe something less drastic might work as well.

And if everything you try (or don't) fails...change the locks or leave.

AnswerImmaturity is a word that comes to mind. Selfish is another. And we haven't even mentioned manipulative yet. Being ruthlessly helpful, I'd say it boils down to this. Reason it out with her, OR get her some professional help, or change the locks. Or, all of the above. If a person is less amenable to reason than a stupid dog, or so totally self absorbed that the feelings of others don't matter, there's not much anyone can do. Good luck. AnswerI do this now with my current boyfriend. I have to say - maybe what everyone else said is true, but when I become so overly frustrated with him I cant seem to think about anything else but leaving. Maybe the problem is with you, but then again you do say the issues are childish.

Our arguments are the same thing day after day, simple things i ask him to do to help me out in terms of cleaning. I ask him to be clean enough to hang the towel on the rod nice instead of mushed up into a ball. Simple task, and it would make me a million times happier. I tell him on Monday, he says ok I'll do it next time, and he will, until Tueaday comes around and he "forgets." That happens all week long until I want to leave.

I don't know what else to say but I think its great that Im not the only one. :X

-Dofka

AnswerShe sounds Narcissistic, in that everything is about her. Most narcisstists are very childlike and have tantrums when they don't get their way. It is a totally bizarre disorder because they make you start to doubt your own sanity. Trust me, they know exactly what they are doing. They are incapable of a rational conversation. If she is a true narcissist, you need to leave instead of her -and run as fast as you can!!! SH

Answer 2

There are two possible situations: (a) she might be experiencing a panic attack every time she does not get things her way or (b) she does it on purpose to ensure she dominates you.

If is the former, she is experiencing a panic attach, then there is hope. He means no harm and there are easy ways to help and only you can help with a panic attack. Also panic attacks do not last longer than few hours. People experience a panic attack when they think/imagine everybody is against them. The magic words that help is telling them “nobody is against you, its just my opinion I wanted to do it the other way” etc. The worse thing is to try and prove it they are wrong since that is for them proof you are against them.

If is the later : she does it on purpose to ensure she can dominate you, then the situation is much much harder. Bullies do not have normal relationship with people since the only relationship for them is they demand and a true friend will just obey. Anything less then obeying means you are the enemy and everything is fair game to fight you off.

If that is the case and you concluded she indeed is trying to bully you I cannot think of any good outcome unless you want to be the submissive kind and that is not wearing you out. For a bully is a matter of life and death to dominate you, they would better die than accept one single situation where somebody did you bow to their wants. In their mind they cannot create one single precedent where they “loose” so they will make it a point of constantly ensuring there are no exceptions.