Should you spank your 14-year-old daughter who went for a joy ride with her 6-year-old brother and hit a tree when groundings and other things have not worked and it is not the first offense?

Answer 1

== == Yes, long enough and hard enough to come up just short of what is considered child abuse in your state. The fact that you even ask such a question makes it obvious who your daughter is such a problem. == == * It's probably too late for spankings...should have tried that when she was 2 or 3. At 14, you need to sit her down and have an adult conversation with her - she is nearing the age when she could be arrested and tried as an adult for certain serious offenses (such as killing her brother). She may have a problem with authority. She needs to understand that there are rules that must be obeyed: rules at home, rules in school and rules of society. In a few years, her employer will have rules, too. If she doesn't like following rules, she'll have to pay the consequences (did you call the cops when she took the car?).

Point out to her that there are some things under her control, and some things not under her control. As she gets older, she can buy her own house (and make the rules) start her own company (and make her own rules, within the laws of employment), etc. However, there will always be a higher authority...get used to it. Teach her the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference. You might want to get her involved in some organized activity or hobby that she enjoys so she has a positive outlet for her energy. I would look up the state child abuse laws and then spank her or even use a paddle or switch. She deserves a good punishment and I would say spanking won't get it out of her.