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1 Seth Rogen: So, Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to the performance review.

2 Andy Samberg: No problem.

3 Seth Rogen: Your in charge around here. Is that fair to say?

4 Andy Samberg: Absolutely, I'm the boss.

5 Seth Rogen: OK, so take us through a day of the life of - the boss.

6 Andy Samberg: Well, the first thing I do is:

7 Talk to corporates (Like a boss)

8 Approve memos (Like a boss)

9 Lead a workshop (Like a boss)

10 Remember birthdays (Like a boss)

11 Direct workflow (Like a boss)

12 My own bathroom (Like a boss)

13 Micromange (Like a boss)

14 Promote synergy (Like a boss)

15 Hit on Debra (Like a boss)

16 Get rejected (Like a boss)

17 Swallow sadness (Like a boss)

18 Send some faxes (Like a boss)

19 Call a sex line (Like a boss)

20 Cry deeply (Like a boss)

21 Demand a refund (Like a boss)

22 Eat a bagel (Like a boss)

23 Harassment lawsuits (Like a boss)

24 No promotion (Like a boss)

25 Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)

26 Sh*t on Debra's desk (Like a boss)

27 Buy a gun (Like a boss)

28 In my mouth (Like a boss)

29 Aaw f*ck man,

30 can't f*ckin'

31 do it, sh*t!!!

32 Pussy out (Like a boss)

33 Puke on Debra's desk (Like a boss)

34 Jump out the window (Like a boss)

35 Suck a dude's d*ck (Like a boss)

36 Score some Coke (Like a boss)

37 Crash my car (Like a boss)

38 Suck my own d*ck (Like a boss)

39 Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)

40 Chop my balls off (Like a boss)

41 Black out in the sewers (Like a boss)

42 Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)

43 F*ck his brains out (Like a boss)

44 Turn into a jet (Like a boss)

45 Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)

46 Crash into the sun (Like a boss)

47 Now I'm dead (Like a boss)

48 Seth Rogen: Mmmm, so that's an average day for you, then?

49 Andy Samberg: No doubt.

50 Seth Rogen: You chop your balls off and die?

51 Andy Samberg: Hell ya.

52 Seth Rogen: And at one point there, you said something about sucking your 53 own d*ck?

54 Andy Samberg: ....Nope

55 Seth Rogen: Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.

56 Andy Samberg: Nahhh, that ain't me.

57 Seth Rogen: OK, this has been eye opening for me.

58 Andy Samberg: I'm the boss.

59 Seth Rogen: Ya, I got that. You said that over 400 times.

60 Andy Samberg: I'm the boss.

61 Seth Rogen: Ya I got it.

62 Andy Samberg: I'm the boss.

63 Seth Rogen: Ya I know. Bye.

64 Giant Fish: ..........LIKE A BOSS!!! (From line 42)

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