What can you do if your abusive girlfriend ran away and you are battling each other with a nasty ego war and now she is gone but you still love and miss her?

Answer 1

"What can you do if your abusive gf ran away and you are batteling each other with a nasty ego war and now she is gone but you still love and miss her?" Be a man, pick up the telephone, and call her. Best wishes for the future. Are you really in love with her or are you simply missing her wild and erratic ways? Believe it or not some of the greatest romances were all about arguing and not getting along. For example: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (they ended up marrying twice.) They were extremely abusive verbally/physically with each other and they made no bones about it, but the fact was, they really did love each other. I have a brother and sister-in-law that are like that. However, no matter how much you love someone somethings gotta give and one of the two will leave. Your abusive girlfriend isn't that way because she's a rotten person, but she has hidden ghosts in her past she has never had the guts to face and seek psychological counseling for. If she doesn't she will have a very unhappy life. People with different haunting problems are the type of people I call "runners" and all they do is run and never take the time to slow down, assess themselves and get help if needed. All of us have difficulties in life, but it's the smart ones that know when they have a problem and get help for it. By staying with her you are actually enabling her behavior. She's like a run-away locomotive and she can't seem to control how she is and I have no doubt she hates herself for the way she treats you, so she runs. On the other hand you are the one that should have been mature enough to see such a problem and helped in every way you could and if it didn't work you should have moved on. There is no place in love for large egos. Both should be equal and respected. You chose the ego trip. Living with an abusive personality is very hard and I did myself. I was married before at the age of 21 and my marriage lasted 3 1/2 years. My husband cheated on me on several occasions, and was also verbally abusive and it started to turn into physical abuse. We would argue, but I realized the arguing (both of us were stubborn) was getting us nowhere and I suggested therapy for both of us, but he would have no part of it. Once those words parted from his lips, I parted! I left, filed for divorce, found my own apartment, changed jobs, got new friends and moved on. I am happy to say I met a wonderful man a few years later and we will have been happily married 34 years this August. Do we argue? You bet! The difference is, we go some place and cool off and we never let the day go by where one of us (both equal on this) doesn't apologize to the other person and then we sit down and discuss how we feel about that particular problem and we meet half way. That's maturity and that's the way it should be. This sort of rationalization comes with age and I've learned a lot of hard lessons in my lifetime. LOL If she should come back into your life I suggest you only accept her back (not living with you) if you both can go for help. If she refuses then tell her the relationship is over. I know what I am asking of you is difficult and I feel badly, but, the sooner you get out of the denial mode the healthier and stronger you will become and think of it this way ... it frees you up to meet some wonderful girl you can have a happy life with. Good luck Marcy