How many warnings should a child receive?

Answer 1

Before What happens?

In my own experience - which is all I can speak to - the First time a child does something he/she isn't supposed to, I remove the child from the situation, tell the child no, and explain Why. For little kids it shouldn't be too complicated: a simple "No, no. You'll get Owied. That's an Owie thing." or, "No, no. That Owies the puppy," etc. will do.

If the child repeats the action, I repeat the admonition, and the explanation. If it happens a Third time, I ask the child to tell Me why he/she shouldn't do that. Sometimes I find out that the kid didn't understand the explanation, so we talk about it. Sometimes a simple and painless demonstration works. I would Show the child how dangerous something prohibited was (Hold my Own hand over a match, and let the child bring his/her hand close enough to feel the heat; or let the child Feel the sharp edge on whatever he/she wanted, while I said in One word See? Hot, or Sharp.), or ask how he/she would feel if somebody did that to them. Even with all that, I expected that the child would forget, and need further reminders.

If the prohibited action was something Dangerous, where a repeat of the behavior could be Fatal, I would be Forceful in my explanation the First time. "No, no. We Do Not run in the road. Big Cars are on the road. They can Squash you,". The second time I would remove the child from the danger completely, and try again later. I Always tell children the Truth, in language that they can understand. Kids can Handle the Truth, and are Much more likely to co-operate when they Understand the prohibition.

Many, Many repetitions of the above Will result in a child who respects others, and will not Kill him/herself, or anybody Else.

If the child is being Difficult, I give an explanation,"No you can't go. There will be no adults there.", or whatever. I repeat that Once more. If they repeat the demand a Third time, I just Stare at the kid, looking Stern.

If, in the face of everything I have said, and done, the kid does it Anyway, I try to come up with a punishment that fits the crime. One of my kids just could Not hang up his coat, or put his boots on the shelf, in the Mudroom. He Finally spent the better part of a day Mucking it out. We Never had that problem again.

I'm not a big fan of putting kids in their rooms, because 1) there's too much to Play with in there, and 2) bedtime should be Pleasant; I don't want to make the bedroom a Bad place.

May this of help as I'm no professional, and have No idea what professionals advise. However, I Have raised 3 kids as a single parent, and all of them are reasonably well-adjusted responsible people who survived to tell the tale. So did everybody else.