How do you irritate people?

Answer 1

There are many time honored techniques that can be easily employed in ones pursuit of irritating other people. Flatulence is, of course, the single most effective way to irritate people and even other flatulent people will find themselves irritated by your own flatulence, especially if you made sure to eat plenty of beans and artichokes and broccoli. Burping can also irritate quite nicely and failing that picking your nose openly and unabashedly is also very effective when irritating others. For advanced techniques try carrying around a large nail clipper in your pocket or purse and when there is a large enough group to make the presentation worth while, take off your shoes and socks and pull out the nail clipper and begin clipping your toenails. This technique is particularly irritating if you do this while people are trying to talk to you.

Those are obvious techniques but for the more subtle minded there are many small bits of behavior that can be used to irritate people. When someone is talking to you start by nodding your head vigorously while they are speaking repeating certain words loudly to indicate you understand what they are saying. When they are finished talking politely say: "I'm sorry could you repeat that?" and then repeat your irritating behavior when they repeat what they just said. Once they've repeated the statement politely respond by saying: "I'm sorry, I don't understand." When they get so irritated they start belittling you keep nodding your head vigorously and repeating loudly the insults that are hurled upon you.

When someone makes an obvious statement or observation respond derisively with this statement: "So duh!" Keep doing this every time that person says something and this will surely irritate. When people are trying to talk to you about their problems respond in a bored way saying things such as: "Is that so?" "Really?" "Wow." "I did not know that!" Things like that. When they finally shut up say: "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Talking very loudly and spitting your words in the faces of others is extremely irritating. Use your cell phone only make sure it is clear to all that the phone didn't really ring when you interrupted the conversation to take the fake phone call of which should be enacted horribly so it is painfully obvious that you are accepting a fake phone call in order to silence those who were talking to you.

These are just a handful of techniques used by irritating people since time immemorial, but I suggest pioneering new techniques in your quest to irritate others as there is nothing more irritating then someone who is original and unique. Speak your mind freely and dare to be truthful and this will surely irritate many people. Be careful that you don't irritate yourself because unlike other people who can simply walk away once they've had enough of your nonsense, no matter where you go you'll still be irritating. Good luck on this noble pursuit and remember that practice makes perfect. ANSWER Just be yourself.