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Roy Fuller. In Memory of My Cat Domino: 1951-66

Rising at dawn to pee, I thought I saw you

Curved in a chair, with head raised to look at me,

As you did at such hours. But the next moment,

More used to the gloom, there was only a jar

And a face-cloth. time enough, nonetheless,

For love's responsibilities to return

To me.

The unique character of the dead

Is the source of our sense of mourning and loss;

So,back in bed, I avoided calling up

What I know is intact in my mind, your life,

Entirely possessed as it was by my care.

I could conceive you not as dead but merely

Gone before me to a world that sends to us

Decreasing intimation of its beings -

No doubt because they find us in the end

Pathetic, worthy, but of small importance.

So long had we been together it never

Occurred to me I might fall somewhat behind.

Even when, familiar fur in my hands,

The sickly wave of barbiturate rose up,

I thought it was me who was journeying on -

But looking back there is only emptiness,

Your dusty medicaments and my portrait

Taken with you: sad mode of life you've outpaced.

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12y ago

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