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Simple. In two words: Frightened and Threatened. Narcissists are often originally drawn to confident people with high self-esteem. That is because they need to use them, rest in their light for a while so to speak, then they suck the life out of them when they are not always receiving the adoration they need. If you criticize just once, you pay. The attacks start, and the narcissist is then on a road to lower your self-esteem to make you dependent and frightened so you do not leave them. The thing is, they are the ones dependent on YOU! They are frightened that if you are gone they will not be able to draw their Narcissistic Supply from you .

Never, worry about the Narcissist. They survive in spite of acting like they won't (it is a ploy to manipulate and control you). They will play the victim for a while, but all the time they are just looking for another source of supply. Sadly, they will find some unsuspecting person who will be drawn into their web for a while and the cycle will repeat.

The best way to improve your self-esteem is to get awayand continue your therapy. Let your therapist help you gain the strength to leave or you will NEVER, EVER get your self-esteem and self-respect back. As long as you stay with the narcissist he will chip away at you. He will remind you of your "sins" against him which is what he will consider your therapy. He will pretend he is supportive, initially, because he is too cowardly to fight you. But underneath he is furious and very FRIGHTENED that you will figure him out and leave him, and he will not have you to insult or belittle anymore in order to boost his own ego. And, after you stop your therapy, he will get even more aggressive in his attempts to beat you down. Narcissists are always plotting to emotionally destroy those closest to them. It is their basic trait.

I would like to add this:

I could not agree more on what is said above. Your therapist is your best ally on these situations, they are trained on all aspects of the human mind, so to speak. And yes , they know exactly how the narcistic person operates. Never fear.

PS: I am psychology major taking advanced courses. ! Hope I have been of service.

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13y ago
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1d ago

A narcissist may feel threatened or challenged by their ex-partner's therapy and improving self-esteem and self-respect. They may try to undermine these efforts or manipulate the situation to regain control. The narcissist may also feel a sense of loss of power and significance.

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Q: How does a Narcissist feel when his ex is in theraphy and her self esteem and self respect is being restored?
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Continue Learning about Psychology

Is it necessarily true that those involved with a narcissist have low self-esteem?

Not necessarily. While individuals with low self-esteem may be more susceptible to getting involved with a narcissist, it is not a universal rule. People with different personality traits or vulnerabilities can also find themselves in relationships with narcissists for various reasons.


Does a Narcissist have high or low self esteem?

A narcissist typically has high self-esteem, but it is fragile and based on external validation. They have an inflated sense of their own importance and lack empathy towards others. This can lead to manipulative behavior and difficulty maintaining relationships.


Is self esteem the same as self respect?

No. Self respect is clearly respecting yourself, being kind to yourself, loving yourself and taking care of yourself. Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. For example: if you have low self esteem you don't really think you're pretty or attractive, you might not dress very nicely and you think you're ugly. You can have no self esteem but still have self respect by not harming yourself, etc...


A genuine concern and respect for ourselves is called?

Self-love.


How do you build your self esteem while living with a narcissist and control freak?

Building self-esteem while living with a narcissist and control freak can be a challenge, but it's important to prioritize self-care. Seek support from trusted friends or a therapist to validate your feelings and help you set boundaries. Focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself and remind yourself of your worth separate from the behaviors of the narcissist.