What goes through a narcissists mind when they dump you?

Answer 1

They are well- rehearsed from previous their previous conquests. They know how to turn things around to make you feel you've done something wrong. You search your mind like crazy, but you can't quite put your finger on an answer. You can come up with a thousand possibilities; not none seem a logical reason to breakup.

Through months of conditioning, he almost instinctively knows the moment you're the most vulnerable. He has a condescending tone, assuring you that you deserve better. It's almost as though he has a remote control and at a push of a button he can drain your soul and zap your energy. He feels a sense of accomplishment that is almost bone-chilling.

He knows you will call. He knows you'll text, and he knows the silence will drain you of your sense of self, and you feel totally helpless. He has studied you over months and maybe years, so he thinks you will reach your breaking point long after he is gone.

It will not happen. You start to realize that as days pass, something of yourself returns. It's like you were slowly hemorrhaging; but the bleeding stops. You may be far from total recovery; but soon after he disappears, that feeling of dread lifts.

You have to force yourself to gasp for air. Just like being underwater until your lungs nearly burst, and you're forced to the surface. He is dragging you deeper and deeper; but you're too strong to drown in his contempt.

He doesn't feel love. He doesn't feel remorse. He's hoping that you will pine for him and you're damaged beyond repair. Unable to feel or feel loved.

I am recovering. I made it to the surface. I'm taking a deep breath and filling my lungs beyond capacity.

He may be on a distant shore, thinking I drowned in self-pity and miserable from the breakup. I am miserable, but I'm healing. I didn't drown.

I never lost sight of land on the horizon. Nor should you.

Answer 2

When a narcissist dumps someone, they are usually focused on their own needs, desires, and ego. They may feel a sense of power or control in ending the relationship. They may also rationalize their actions to justify prioritizing themselves over their partner.