What step must be followed in order to stop desiring things?

Answer 1

If you stop and think about it... even if there were some "steps" involved in the imaginary process to "not desire things" -- the end game of those steps would be to "seek a desire."

As it is... life itself, and the longevity thereof, takes care of desire in us all as we near death; like the desire for food.

Regarding the overall condition of human desire, however: the only sure cure for it almost has to be "death."

"For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing... their love, and their hatred, and their envy [desires, all], is now perished..." (Eccle.9:5).

So, the only sure steps we can take to "stop desiring things" is to finish out the steps of the walk that is our lives... and die. And our desires will cease.

Answer 2

First off, The Buddha never said we had to stop desiring all things. If we did why would we bother so seek enlightenment, to seek to help others, etc. What he said is that we had to be smart about our desires because they cause us suffering. They can be an trap for which we can't get out of. Liking working ourselves to death (figuratively) to buy a new car just to have a new car. The joy of the new car does not last. So we seek something else to replace that lost joy, etc.

In order to stop desiring things to make us happy, we need to look deeply at the reasons we desire something. Is it to impress ourselves or others (we want it)? or is it because we we need it. If it is something we need, like a new car because ours is broken beyond repair, then that is not bad. But if we have a perfectly good car but we want to buy a fancy one to impress others, not so much.

So, again, look at the motivation of why you are desiring something (want versus need). Realize that some things are out of reach (like, i'm never going to marry a super-model) and learn to accept that things are the way they are. The last means that you don't stop trying to make things better, but you first have to realize and accept that things sometimes are not perfect.