Why are men generally the abusers in relationships rather than the victims of abuse?

Answer 1

There are two sets of reasons - cultural/social and psychological.

In male-dominated, chauvinistic, or misogynistic cultures and societies, abuse is condoned rather than condemned. Additionally, those mental health disorders associated with abuse - for instance the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)- are more prevalent among men.

Men are also still expected in some societies to be the dominant one in the relationship. For men who have problems with anger any "defiance" is seen as a problem that needs to be fixed and it usually comes in the form of physical abuse.

Throughout human history there has never been much punishment for men who abuse their women. Men have always dominated. Men were the absolute authority in the home and were the only family member with legal rights and any existence in the outside world- outside of the home. Abuse of women was minimized, justified, expected, ignored and promoted at church. In medieval times it only brought the attention of the local authority if there was serious crippling injury or death. Otherwise, it was just a regular part of every day life.

Many men abuse women because they still think they have the right to abuse them. Men who abuse do not respect women and often despise them. Men who abuse have a misconception about masculinity, and perhaps an insecurity as well. They continue to abuse even though they know it is no longer their right to abuse and it is against the law.

It is reported that one in three women is in an abusive relationship. It can begin as early as high school. Common problems among abusive men are poor communication skills, no desire to compromise, blaming others for they way they feel or their lack of success in life, a desire to control and the need to feel powerful when they are often undistinguished in the outside world.

Some men feel proud and justified for "keeping their women in their place". Others are shamed by their own behavior and wish they could stop. Many blame their victims for their own lack of self control. Abusers are more authoritarian and demand unquestioned obedience to their authority. They believe that women are inferior and they come from all walks of life. Men who operate on a higher economic and educational level may be better at hiding it.

Some facts:

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States.
• 85% of domestic violence victims are women. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February 2003) Men can be victims, but it is rare.
• Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.
• Women in rural areas are at greater risk
• A battering incident is rarely an isolated event.
• Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.
• Many batterers learned violent behavior growing up in an abusive family.
• 25% - 45% of all women who are battered are battered during pregnancy.
• Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.

Answer 2

Men's testosterome levels are at least 20 times higher than women's levels which causes them to go on a high more easily.

It depends upon person to person. Typically it is considered men are more violent than women for their nature.