Can perimenopause cause divorce

Answer 1

Since no one else has stepped up---

I will report my personal experience.

Yes, it most certainly did! Twenty-seven years of what all my friends and family (and her family--and me) considered a good marriage ended in an unbelievably bitter child custody battle. Let me restate this--It was a GREAT marriage. We both grew. We put each other through college. We believed in each other absolutely. We traveled. We were inseparable. I have many, man love letters that I cherish from the decades together. She truly loved.

At age 43, her love simply stopped. I became a punching bag. Physical assault was common. (She is 100 lbs and I am 220--so she never hurt me--except emotionally) She constantly belittled me. I was constantly told I wasn't successful enough. I was told that I didn't excite her any longer. I was told to stop being a baby and grow up. I first called her new attitude impugning my character. I have since heard it called character assassination.

After a year of this she filed for divorce (the first ever in my family) and she began constantly and viciously telling anyone who would listen to her that I was a monster, a wife-beater, a cheat, a controller, a "danger to myself and others". There was not a word of truth in any of it (and judges have agreed with me five times)

Yes, she sued my five times in five years--each time labeling me a monster and trying to cut me out of my young childrens' lives.

These quotes from Judge Sandra Watts tell the story of these last six years.

Judge Watts (yelling) "You know what I think? I think you decided what you were going to do and made all this up to justify it!" "I am disturbed by your unilateral actions. I am particularly disturbed by this don't tell Daddy business"

"Mr. Baker, bring these problems to me."

Yes, perimenopause caused my divorce. My ex, after 30 years of being everyone's favorite and the love of my life--a truly wonderful and exceptionally kind woman--has thrown away everything good in her life. She is alone, mean, bitter, cruel. She has been fired from her high-paying job of 30 years. Our children have lost almost all respect for her. Example: Last Christmas morning, I asked my son to please call her--because I know the feeling of Christmas morning without my kids. My son answered, "She won't know the difference. She's getting so bad that she'll just convince herself that it's not Christmas."

That sums up perimenopause. This may be a worst-case scenario, but the willful altering of reality is the primary symptom. I have no doubt she believes I am a monster. But I am exactly the same man she loved for decades.

It was she who changed.

Answer 2

Yes.