What would you like to do?
Can you describe an adolescent narcissist?
Donovan is incapable of loving and, therefore, has never loved you (or, for that matter, anyone else, himself included) in his entire life. His natural capacity to love and to return love was all but eliminated by his horrid childhood. We practice loving first and foremost through our parents. If they fail us, if they turn out to be unpredictable, capricious, violent, unjust -- this capacity is stunted forever. This is what happened to Donovan: the ideal figures of his childhood proved to be much less than ideal. Abuse is a very poor ground to breed healthy emotions in.
Granted, Donovan -- being the brilliant and manipulative person that he is -- knows how to perfectly simulate and emulate LOVE. He acts lovingly -- but this is a mere act and it should not be confused with the real thing. Donovan shows love in order to achieve goals: money, a warm house, food on the table, adoration (Narcissistic Supply). Once these are available from other sources -- the former ones are abandoned callously, cold-heartedly, cruelly and abruptly.
You have been such a temporary stopover for Donovan, the equivalent of a full board hotel (no chores, no requirements on his time). Not only was he able to secure his material needs from you -- he also found in you a perfect Source of Narcissistic Supply: adoring, submissive, non-critical, wide-eyed, approving, admiring, the perfect narcissistic fix.
You describe a very disturbed young man with a clear NPD. He values intelligence above all, he uses foul language to vent his aggression (the narcissist resents his dependence on his Sources of Supply). The narcissist knows it all and best, is judgemental (without merit), hates all people (though he calls upon them if he needs something -- he is never above exploiting and manipulation). When not in need, he does not contact his "friends", not even his "girlfriend". After all, emotions ("sensitivity") are a deplorable weakness.
In the pursuit of narcissistic gratification, there is no place for hesitation or pause. You put it succinctly: he will do nothing for others, nothing matters to him if it is not for himself. As a result, he lets people down and refrains almost religiously from keeping promises and obligations.
The narcissist is above such mundane things as obligations undertaken. They counter his conviction that he is above any law -- social or other, and this threatens his grandiosity.
The narcissist, being above reproach (who is qualified to judge him, to teach him, to advise him?), inevitably reverts to blaming others for his misdeeds: they should have warned/reminded/alerted him. For instance: they should have woke him up if they desired his precious company and wanted him to keep a date.
The narcissist is above normal humans and their daily chores: he doesn't think that he needs to attend classes (that others do. This is the unspoken continuation of this sentence). Other people should do so because they are inferior (stupid). This is the natural order of things -- read Nietzsche. Most narcissists are predictable and, therefore, boring.
To love a narcissist is to love a reflection, not a real figure. Donovan is the most basic, primitive type: the somatic (or anal) narcissist, whose disorder is centred around his body, his skin, his hair, his dress, his food, his health. Some of these preoccupations attain a phobic aura ("freaky with germs") and that is a bad sign.
Hypochondriasis could be the next mental step. But Donovan is in great danger. He should seek help immediately. His NPD -- as is usually the case -- has been and is still being compounded by other, more serious disorders. He is led down a path of no return. Donovan is constantly depressed. Maybe he has had few major depressive episodes but he is distinctly dysphoric (sad) and anhedonic (hates the world and finds pleasure in nothing). He alternates between hypersomnia (sleeping too much) and insomnia (not sleeping for two days). This is one of the surest signs of depression.
Narcissists suffer, by their nature, from an undulating sense of self-worth and from all-pervasive feelings of guilt and recrimination. They punish themselves: they dress in ragged clothes contrary to their primary predilections and they direct their pent up aggression at themselves. The result is depression.
Donovan also seems to suffer from a schizoid personality. These people prefer to stay and work in their rooms, in solitary confinement, chained to their computers and books -- to any social encounter or diversion. They rarely possess sufficient trust in others and the requisite emotional baggage to develop stable interpersonal relationships. They are miserable failures at communicating and confine their interactions to first degree relatives.
The total picture is that of a young person suffering from a Borderline Personality Disorder with strong narcissistic and schizoid hues. His reckless and self-destructive spending and his eating irregularities point in this direction. So does the inappropriate affect (for instance, smiling while pretending to shoot people). Donovan is a menace above all to himself.
Borderline patients entertain suicide thoughts (they have suicidal ideation) and tend finally to act upon them. This aggression can perhaps be directed elsewhere and result in catastrophic consequences. But, at best, Donovan will continue to make people around him miserable.
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somebody who has the following symptoms Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation Taking advantage of others to reach own goals Exaggerating own import…ance, achievements, and talents Imagining unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance Requiring constant attention and positive reinforcement from others Becoming jealous easily Lacking empathy and disregarding the feelings of others Being obsessed with self Pursuing mainly selfish goals Trouble keeping healthy relationships Becoming easily hurt and rejected Setting goals that are unrealistic Wanting "the best" of everything Appearing unemotional
They need someone who is as focused on them as they are on themselves. So they'd be better off with someone with really low self esteem, or just someone who is a… real giver, and wouldn't mind never getting anything in return.
Someone who worships him or her self. everything revols around you, everythign you do is for your own good and use Narcissism is the practice of displaying (among others);- gr…andiosity (superiority,) entitlement, competitiveness and envy, lack of empathy (understanding and considering others,) shallow affect (vague or superficial feelings and emotions,) Lack of insight or self-awareness (never considers that attitudes/behaviour may be unhealthy to self or others,) Poor impulse control (cannot resist urges especially destructive ones and especially when angry,) manipulative behaviour. When these behaviours go to extremes (and are displayed over a significat period of time) a medical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may be made. Many people may display some (or all) of these traits without having the disorder, on fact most of us display these from time to time. It is logical to say that the more of these traits displayed and the more frequently they are displayed then the more narcissitic that person may be.
It's certainly possible. A narcissist may date another narcissist that is more selfish than they are to feel better about themselves. In turn say "i'm not as selfish as he/she… is so that makes me above him/her). It's incredible and shocking the way people with this disorder think. It takes a lot of research to understand a narcissist.
They would probably not like to hear it, and would most likely deny it. ANSWER: They will most likely 'gaslight', by which I mean they will tell you yo…u're crazy, or on drugs or similar, laugh at you or take mock pity on your silliness. They will say or do almost anything to discredit you, but they will never listen to you, consider your point or admit to or apologise for anything. It's almost a perfect test for narcissism. ANSWER: The above is a possibility but there's also a chance of sending the N into a rage. I don't think confronting a true N is a very good idea. Remember, anything that goes wrong in the relationship is YOUR fault and without outside help he'll never accept criticism. ANSWER: I thought this was pretty profound. It reads something like a bad joke. However, its not! I was dating someone who surely was a narcissist. On this particular occasion had dropped by my apartment unexpectedly. Catching me in the midst of researching narcissism online. After entering the first thing he did was look over my shoulder to see what I was reading on the screen. Upon reading said, "Is that about me"? Dumbfounded I responded, "If you have to ask..."
Generally no. Because their main focus is themselves, often narcissistic people won't think about how other people view them. Having this basic operation of putting ourself in… other peoples shoes is an important way to self edit and improve. Without this skill, the person would never think about themselves as narcissistic. Dr. Heidi Heron PsyD NLP Worldwide
It's the TEENAGER stage of development. In common usage pubescent, "adolescent", "teenager", "teen", "youth", "youngster", and "young person". Adolescence as something bey…ond a purely physical stage of development seems to be an invention of advanced societies. In many societies 14 year-olds undergo a rite of passage and then for most purposes are treated as adults. Adolescence is the awkward teenage period between childhood and the adult years (13 to 19 years of age). Adolescence is the development of young kids. The stage starts around puberty and last until adulthood.
growing to manhood or womanhood; youthful. A young person who has undergone puberty but who has not reached full maturity.
Adolescence is the stage or process of transition from puberty to maturity(18-20years). Adolescent is a person in this stage of development.this period witnesses physical ment…al and reproductive growth of the individual.
adolescents is the age of a person between 13 to 20 years A young person who has undergone puberty but who has not reached full maturity; a teenager.
A narcissist (from character in the Greek mythology, Narcissus) is someone who seeks pleasure only for themselves.
Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active… or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. I do not believe in the ability to "resuscitate" it through therapy. It is not only a question of alienation, as Horney observed. She said that because the Idealised (=False) Self sets impossible goals to attain � the results are frustration and self hate which grow with every setback or failure. I assign the constant sadistic judgment, the self-berating, the suicidal ideation to another source: to an idealised, sadistic, Superego. There is no conflict between the True Self and the False Self. First, the True Self is much too weak to engage in conflict with the overbearing False. Second, the False Self is adaptive (though maladaptive). It helps the True Self to cope with the world. Without the False Self, the True Self would be subjected to so much hurt that it will disintegrate. This happens to narcissists who go through a life crisis: their False Ego becomes dysfunctional and they experience a harrowing feeling of annulment. The False Self has many functions, described at great length below. The two most important are: (1) It serves as a decoy, it "attracts the fire". It is a proxy for the True Self. It is tough and hard and can absorb any amount of pain, hurt and negative emotions. By externalising it, the child develops immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, or exploitation � in short: to the abuse � inflicted on him by his parents (or by other Primary Objects in his life). It is a shell, protecting him, rendering him invisible and omnipotent at the same time. (2) The False Self is misrepresented by the narcissist as his True Self. The narcissist is saying, in effect: "I am not who you think that I am. I am someone else. I am that (False) Self. Therefore, I deserve a better, painless, more considerate treatment." The False Self, thus, is a contraption intended to alter the attitude of the (human) environment towards the narcissist. The False Self is a reaction to pathological circumstances (maybe even a healthy reaction). But its dynamics make it predominate, devour the psyche and prey upon both the True Self and the efficient, flexible functioning of the personality. That the narcissist possesses a prominent False Self as well as a suppressed and dilapidated True Self is common knowledge. Yet, how intertwined and inseparable are these two? Do they interact? How do they influence each other? And what behaviours can be attributed squarely to one or the other of these protagonists? Moreover, does the False Self assume traits and attributes of the True Self in order to deceive? Let's start by referring to an oft-occurring question: Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago. They are the true zombies of the world. Many researchers and scholars and therapists tried to grapple with the void at the core of the narcissist. The common view is that the remnants of the True Self are so ossified, shredded, cowed into submission and repressed � that, for all practical purposes, they are dysfunctional and useless. In treating the narcissist, the therapist often tries to invent a healthy self, rather than build upon the distorted wreckage strewn across the narcissist's psyche. But what of the rare glimpses of True Self that those who interact with narcissists keep reporting? If the pathological narcissistic element is but one of many other disorders � the True Self may well have survived. Gradations and shades of narcissism make up the narcissistic spectrum. Narcissistic traits (overlay) are often co-diagnosed with other disorders (co-morbidity). Some people have a narcissistic personality or style � but NOT NPD! These distinctions are important. A person may well appear to be a narcissist � but is not, in the strict, psychiatric, sense of the word. In a full-fledged narcissist, the False Self IMITATES the True Self. To do so artfully, it deploys two mechanisms: It causes the narcissist to re-interpret certain emotions and reactions in a flattering, True Self-compatible, light. A narcissist may, for instance, interpret FEAR � as compassion. If the narcissist hurts someone he fears (e.g., an authority figure) � he may feel bad afterwards and interpret his discomfort as EMPATHY and COMPASSION. To be afraid is humiliating � to be compassionate is commendable and earns the narcissist social acceptance and understanding. The narcissist is possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at the service of the narcissist's control freakery and sadism. The narcissist uses it liberally to annihilate the natural defenses of his victims by faking unprecedented, almost inhuman, empathy. This capacity is coupled with the narcissist's ability to frighteningly imitate emotions and their attendant behaviours. The narcissist possesses "emotional resonance tables". He keeps records of every action and reaction, every utterance and consequence, every datum provided by others regarding their state of mind and emotional make-up. From these, he then constructs a set of formulas, which often result in impeccably and eerily accurate renditions of emotional behaviour. This can be enormously deceiving. yes, they do! they say this is the real me at what ever time they are at now. a day or week later they will be just the oposite and yet again will say this is the real me!they mean it just as much as when they said it previously, and so the cycle goes on. there is no consistancy, and if questioned about it they explain away the oposite "real me" by making excuses about it or denying that they said it. my narc`s classic saying is "i mean everything i say at the time i say it, or i wouldn't have said it"! i sort of believe that as he sounds very sincere, then again it could just be another pathalogical lie! we wouldn't know as any narc would just lie if asked that question.
Is it narcissistic for a man to masturbate while his wife describes her sexual past in detail at his request?
Wife tells husband about her past The activity may be somewhat unusual but I don't see that it is narcissistic. (There's a difference between 'narcissism' as a word in everd…ay use and the psychological sense). The main thing is that both spouses enjoy it. Obviously, if the wife doesn't enjoy it, while her husband clearly does, then she needs to ask herself if she feels in some way used. If she feels used or dominated against her will, then she must stop participating in this activity. The key thing is: do you find the activity distressing? If the answer is yes, then it must stop. (This is more important than finding a label for it). See the Related Link for "Wikipedia: Narcissism" to the bottom for the answer.
How does the narcissist come by his uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others as Sam Vaknin describes?
Answer There is no specific victim that succumbs to a narcissist. The N usually begins as a dream come true - pursues you, cares about you, wants you. Then when you sta…rt to get to know the N, you begin to see very strange things about him which eventually develop into major personality problems. I cared very much for the N I was involved with and I believed unwisely that I could help him. I was duped....he used me badly, physically and mentally abused me and had the uncanny ability to lead a totally separate life while we were dating...to include planning and carrying out ways to be with other women. Mature, caring adults just don't do those types of things. The N has many negative traits that include very dangerous, unhealthy reactions within his or her tumultuous, crazy lifestyle, i.e. paranoia, schizophrenic episodes, rage, envy, sexual promiscuity, constant need for adoration and confirmation...and they literally take your strength and pull it into themselves. This is because they truly are empty shells. You need to steer clear of these types of people. They are not mentally equipped to care about others, this is the professional diagnosis. They can only exist for themselves. Such a pitiful waste, and I do not mean this sarcastically. They truly they do not know any other thought process, therefore they plot and intricately plan within their minds to get as much from you as possible until you are no longer useful. They use coercion, pathological lying, calculated manipulation, etc. Curing them is impossible, only a major life crisis or perhaps clinical help can TREAT it. Later, I will be sending an email address for you to use for research. Stay away from these people, healthy people are not equipped to be with a N if they want to be happy in a relationship, and it is for this very reason that we are so cruelly used, it is not within our realm of thinking to fashion our minds in such a manner. Believe me, an N will cause you to doubt your own sanity. I am currently recovering from major trauma with an N, 2.5 years loving him to no avail. I start my first mental health counseling next week. I am still in mourning, still shocked, but learning and getting better. And I will not gratify him one bit by ever acknowledging him again. I will heal, I will see this as a mental disease and hopefully forgive, but until then and I can still love again, praise God for Him for I know that I deserve and will have better. Stay strong, understand the personality disorder, and make your life centered around good, caring people who can love. I am very sorry if you are involved with one. Get out and never speak to him /her again. This is a great site to read about narcissism and the courageous, brave people who are recovering from time spent with one. Peace...mbme Because it is what they know. As a child, many narcissists had a narcissistic parent and had to develop coping strategies to deal with the parent. As a result, they are quite sensitive to others in some ways...not empathy, mind you, but understanding subtleties of your psychological make-up. That's why they tune in so well in the beginning; they are collecting info on you. Also, it helps them manipulate you, just like they had to manipulate their N parent to get what they want.
Could you uncover a narcissist by asking the person to describe something they regret having done to someone else?
I think it's possible.