What would you like to do?
Donovan is incapable of loving and, therefore, has never loved you (or, for that matter, anyone else, himself included) in his entire life. His natural capacity to love and to return love was all but eliminated by his horrid childhood. We practice loving first and foremost through our parents. If they fail us, if they turn out to be unpredictable, capricious, violent, unjust -- this capacity is stunted forever. This is what happened to Donovan: the ideal figures of his childhood proved to be much less than ideal. Abuse is a very poor ground to breed healthy emotions in.
Granted, Donovan -- being the brilliant and manipulative person that he is -- knows how to perfectly simulate and emulate LOVE. He acts lovingly -- but this is a mere act and it should not be confused with the real thing. Donovan shows love in order to achieve goals: money, a warm house, food on the table, adoration (Narcissistic Supply). Once these are available from other sources -- the former ones are abandoned callously, cold-heartedly, cruelly and abruptly.
You have been such a temporary stopover for Donovan, the equivalent of a full board hotel (no chores, no requirements on his time). Not only was he able to secure his material needs from you -- he also found in you a perfect Source of Narcissistic Supply: adoring, submissive, non-critical, wide-eyed, approving, admiring, the perfect narcissistic fix.
You describe a very disturbed young man with a clear NPD. He values intelligence above all, he uses foul language to vent his aggression (the narcissist resents his dependence on his Sources of Supply). The narcissist knows it all and best, is judgemental (without merit), hates all people (though he calls upon them if he needs something -- he is never above exploiting and manipulation). When not in need, he does not contact his "friends", not even his "girlfriend". After all, emotions ("sensitivity") are a deplorable weakness.
In the pursuit of narcissistic gratification, there is no place for hesitation or pause. You put it succinctly: he will do nothing for others, nothing matters to him if it is not for himself. As a result, he lets people down and refrains almost religiously from keeping promises and obligations.
The narcissist is above such mundane things as obligations undertaken. They counter his conviction that he is above any law -- social or other, and this threatens his grandiosity.
The narcissist, being above reproach (who is qualified to judge him, to teach him, to advise him?), inevitably reverts to blaming others for his misdeeds: they should have warned/reminded/alerted him. For instance: they should have woke him up if they desired his precious company and wanted him to keep a date.
The narcissist is above normal humans and their daily chores: he doesn't think that he needs to attend classes (that others do. This is the unspoken continuation of this sentence). Other people should do so because they are inferior (stupid). This is the natural order of things -- read Nietzsche. Most narcissists are predictable and, therefore, boring.
To love a narcissist is to love a reflection, not a real figure. Donovan is the most basic, primitive type: the somatic (or anal) narcissist, whose disorder is centred around his body, his skin, his hair, his dress, his food, his health. Some of these preoccupations attain a phobic aura ("freaky with germs") and that is a bad sign.
Hypochondriasis could be the next mental step. But Donovan is in great danger. He should seek help immediately. His NPD -- as is usually the case -- has been and is still being compounded by other, more serious disorders. He is led down a path of no return. Donovan is constantly depressed. Maybe he has had few major depressive episodes but he is distinctly dysphoric (sad) and anhedonic (hates the world and finds pleasure in nothing). He alternates between hypersomnia (sleeping too much) and insomnia (not sleeping for two days). This is one of the surest signs of depression.
Narcissists suffer, by their nature, from an undulating sense of self-worth and from all-pervasive feelings of guilt and recrimination. They punish themselves: they dress in ragged clothes contrary to their primary predilections and they direct their pent up aggression at themselves. The result is depression.
Donovan also seems to suffer from a schizoid personality. These people prefer to stay and work in their rooms, in solitary confinement, chained to their computers and books -- to any social encounter or diversion. They rarely possess sufficient trust in others and the requisite emotional baggage to develop stable interpersonal relationships. They are miserable failures at communicating and confine their interactions to first degree relatives.
The total picture is that of a young person suffering from a Borderline Personality Disorder with strong narcissistic and schizoid hues. His reckless and self-destructive spending and his eating irregularities point in this direction. So does the inappropriate affect (for instance, smiling while pretending to shoot people). Donovan is a menace above all to himself.
Borderline patients entertain suicide thoughts (they have suicidal ideation) and tend finally to act upon them. This aggression can perhaps be directed elsewhere and result in catastrophic consequences. But, at best, Donovan will continue to make people around him miserable.
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Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active… or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. I do not believe in the ability to "resuscitate" it through therapy. It is not only a question of alienation, as Horney observed. She said that because the Idealised (=False) Self sets impossible goals to attain � the results are frustration and self hate which grow with every setback or failure. I assign the constant sadistic judgment, the self-berating, the suicidal ideation to another source: to an idealised, sadistic, Superego. There is no conflict between the True Self and the False Self. First, the True Self is much too weak to engage in conflict with the overbearing False. Second, the False Self is adaptive (though maladaptive). It helps the True Self to cope with the world. Without the False Self, the True Self would be subjected to so much hurt that it will disintegrate. This happens to narcissists who go through a life crisis: their False Ego becomes dysfunctional and they experience a harrowing feeling of annulment. The False Self has many functions, described at great length below. The two most important are: (1) It serves as a decoy, it "attracts the fire". It is a proxy for the True Self. It is tough and hard and can absorb any amount of pain, hurt and negative emotions. By externalising it, the child develops immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, or exploitation � in short: to the abuse � inflicted on him by his parents (or by other Primary Objects in his life). It is a shell, protecting him, rendering him invisible and omnipotent at the same time. (2) The False Self is misrepresented by the narcissist as his True Self. The narcissist is saying, in effect: "I am not who you think that I am. I am someone else. I am that (False) Self. Therefore, I deserve a better, painless, more considerate treatment." The False Self, thus, is a contraption intended to alter the attitude of the (human) environment towards the narcissist. The False Self is a reaction to pathological circumstances (maybe even a healthy reaction). But its dynamics make it predominate, devour the psyche and prey upon both the True Self and the efficient, flexible functioning of the personality. That the narcissist possesses a prominent False Self as well as a suppressed and dilapidated True Self is common knowledge. Yet, how intertwined and inseparable are these two? Do they interact? How do they influence each other? And what behaviours can be attributed squarely to one or the other of these protagonists? Moreover, does the False Self assume traits and attributes of the True Self in order to deceive? Let's start by referring to an oft-occurring question: Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago. They are the true zombies of the world. Many researchers and scholars and therapists tried to grapple with the void at the core of the narcissist. The common view is that the remnants of the True Self are so ossified, shredded, cowed into submission and repressed � that, for all practical purposes, they are dysfunctional and useless. In treating the narcissist, the therapist often tries to invent a healthy self, rather than build upon the distorted wreckage strewn across the narcissist's psyche. But what of the rare glimpses of True Self that those who interact with narcissists keep reporting? If the pathological narcissistic element is but one of many other disorders � the True Self may well have survived. Gradations and shades of narcissism make up the narcissistic spectrum. Narcissistic traits (overlay) are often co-diagnosed with other disorders (co-morbidity). Some people have a narcissistic personality or style � but NOT NPD! These distinctions are important. A person may well appear to be a narcissist � but is not, in the strict, psychiatric, sense of the word. In a full-fledged narcissist, the False Self IMITATES the True Self. To do so artfully, it deploys two mechanisms: It causes the narcissist to re-interpret certain emotions and reactions in a flattering, True Self-compatible, light. A narcissist may, for instance, interpret FEAR � as compassion. If the narcissist hurts someone he fears (e.g., an authority figure) � he may feel bad afterwards and interpret his discomfort as EMPATHY and COMPASSION. To be afraid is humiliating � to be compassionate is commendable and earns the narcissist social acceptance and understanding. The narcissist is possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at the service of the narcissist's control freakery and sadism. The narcissist uses it liberally to annihilate the natural defenses of his victims by faking unprecedented, almost inhuman, empathy. This capacity is coupled with the narcissist's ability to frighteningly imitate emotions and their attendant behaviours. The narcissist possesses "emotional resonance tables". He keeps records of every action and reaction, every utterance and consequence, every datum provided by others regarding their state of mind and emotional make-up. From these, he then constructs a set of formulas, which often result in impeccably and eerily accurate renditions of emotional behaviour. This can be enormously deceiving. yes, they do! they say this is the real me at what ever time they are at now. a day or week later they will be just the oposite and yet again will say this is the real me!they mean it just as much as when they said it previously, and so the cycle goes on. there is no consistancy, and if questioned about it they explain away the oposite "real me" by making excuses about it or denying that they said it. my narc`s classic saying is "i mean everything i say at the time i say it, or i wouldn't have said it"! i sort of believe that as he sounds very sincere, then again it could just be another pathalogical lie! we wouldn't know as any narc would just lie if asked that question.
Someone who worships him or her self. everything revols around you, everythign you do is for your own good and use Narcissism is the practice of displaying (among others);- gr…andiosity (superiority,) entitlement, competitiveness and envy, lack of empathy (understanding and considering others,) shallow affect (vague or superficial feelings and emotions,) Lack of insight or self-awareness (never considers that attitudes/behaviour may be unhealthy to self or others,) Poor impulse control (cannot resist urges especially destructive ones and especially when angry,) manipulative behaviour. When these behaviours go to extremes (and are displayed over a significat period of time) a medical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may be made. Many people may display some (or all) of these traits without having the disorder, on fact most of us display these from time to time. It is logical to say that the more of these traits displayed and the more frequently they are displayed then the more narcissitic that person may be.
Adolescent Limited is the artistic or literary creation or interpretation business based in London
It's the TEENAGER stage of development. In common usage pubescent, "adolescent", "teenager", "teen", "youth", "youngster", and "young person". Adolescence as something bey…ond a purely physical stage of development seems to be an invention of advanced societies. In many societies 14 year-olds undergo a rite of passage and then for most purposes are treated as adults. Adolescence is the awkward teenage period between childhood and the adult years (13 to 19 years of age). Adolescence is the development of young kids. The stage starts around puberty and last until adulthood.
adolescents is the age of a person between 13 to 20 years A young person who has undergone puberty but who has not reached full maturity; a teenager.
somebody who has the following symptoms Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation Taking advantage of others to reach own goals Exaggerating own import…ance, achievements, and talents Imagining unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance Requiring constant attention and positive reinforcement from others Becoming jealous easily Lacking empathy and disregarding the feelings of others Being obsessed with self Pursuing mainly selfish goals Trouble keeping healthy relationships Becoming easily hurt and rejected Setting goals that are unrealistic Wanting "the best" of everything Appearing unemotional
An adolescent is a teenager, a juvenile after puberty.
growing to manhood or womanhood; youthful. A young person who has undergone puberty but who has not reached full maturity.
A narcissist (from character in the Greek mythology, Narcissus) is someone who seeks pleasure only for themselves.
describe some internal and external pressures experienced by adolescents
Narcissists are extremely tormented individuals. One can imagine the negative energy it takes to criticize, defend, lecture, abuse, control, dominate, deflate, devalue, bully,… etc... another person, who by the way is allowing themselves to be treated this way. One needs to take time to educate themselves on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and take full responsibility for allowing this behavior. The Institute for Relational Harm, and Safer Relationships.com is the only organization that I know of that both educates and treats women coming from these abusive relationships. In my case, my father is an NPD, and I literally suffered from a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, and PTSD. That is why I have acquired all the knowledge I now have, which includes the fact that they do not change or recover. They are literally not wired to feel empathy. Emotionally they are at the level of a six year old due to missing early developmental growth. Please check out these websites, they are a phenomenal resource! All the best to everyone dealing with this severe illness.
it usually drops
Pampered and sheltered best described his youth.