Can you fall in love with someones memory?

Answer 1

First off, I am terribly sorry for your loss.

My first thought was that this was a joke post, and I was going to answer with a sarcastic comment, but in case it isn't (which it probably isn't) I'm going to answer seriously and respectfully.

I know this is hard for you, but honestly what you should do is get over it. I'm not trying to say this in a mean way, and I'm not even trying to say it's going to be easy or happen right away, but this is what you need to do.

It's not like you can kiss them, or bring them back, or anything like that, and fantasies of what could of been is just going to make things harder. So, you need to let go.

My advice is to get a therapist, let them help you out, give you techniques on how to get over it. I am also going to share with you a couple things I think may help with your problem.

First, you need to go through a mourning process. Mourn for a couple weeks, eat some junk food, do whatever you need to to get everything out. Cry until your eyes are extremely swollen and red, you've run out of tissues and you've just run out of tears. If something awful happens I find crying until you feel emotionally numb helps.

Now, this next part, after you start to go numb, will bring back all the emotions sharp again, but it will help to actually express them rather than just crying them out. You don't want to be numb forever, right?

So, my suggestion is to write. Write a letter, put it on their grave. Maybe burn it. Maybe burn it while at their grave. Anything that you might think will help. Once I wrote a letter that I just spilled out my feelings on and I kept it in my pocket for months, but I only got better when I could bring myself to burn it.

If you don't want to write a letter, write poetry. Write a short story. Anything you need.

Or, you can draw out your feelings. It doesn't matter whether you're good at writing or art, all you need is to be passionate about it, and it will show. Besides, you're the only one who ever needs to see these things.

Once you're done this, always keep two sticky note pads and a pen with you. Two colours of sticky note pads too: One colour will be used to write thoughts about the person on, the other to write happy things on. Whenever you think of the person, write the thought down, the memory, the longing, the regret, write it down briefly and put it in a box. Keep all of these in a box, whether it be a fancy box with a lock or a simple shoe box, you just need somewhere to lock the memories and thoughts away. The symbolic nature of this will help your mind to cope, and to lock things up in a box of its own.

Now, to be specific about the happy things. Whenever you receive a compliment, or have something amazing happen to you, or even find an inspirational or just relative quote you enjoy (one that doesn't make you sad), write it down. Write it all down, every single thing that makes you smile, or laugh, or just makes your heart soar. Write it all down. Then, stick the notes somewhere you'll see them everyday: To your wall in you bedroom, a bulletin board, anywhere. Just somewhere you'll be sure to read them.

With these, you'll constantly be reminded that you have other things to be happy about, and you'll be locking away the thoughts about this person.

Always remember this: Never feel guilty for being happy even though the person you love has died. They would want you to be happy, wouldn't they?

Also, if you think it would help, let yourself flirt with other people, let yourself try and find somebody else, because part of getting over something is moving on to something (or somebody) else, so this could really help. Obviously not right away though, because there's no way you could survive a relationship like two weeks after the person you fell in love with passed away.

Again, I am so sorry for you loss, my condolences, and I hope this will help you.

Answer 2

if you mean, like they have past away and you are in love with their memory?

Yes it is possible. You may not have realised it but now that they are gone you feel in love with them. If this it what you mean, it isn't rare, quite normal really.

Answer 3

It certainly is. I am currently in this position, so I understand your pain :(