Could losing a much loved animal lead to mental problems in a teenager?

Answer 1

Usually a great pain or loss will uncover what is already fragmented underneath. It also depends on how the death is dealt with and how the grief is felt. I feel that the teen was probably rather senstive of nature before even the death of the beloved animal, And the death and loss has triggered an underlying core emptiness and pain. Sandplay therapy could be useful as well as letting the teen fully deal with all the grieving process with support by a youth counselor rather than family.

Any stress can trigger either an episode of a mental illness or uncover a mental illness.

In some cases, where a teen is already disturbed, the animal may be the closest relationship in her or his life and the trauma of the loss serves to make the problem visible. There are many reasons why this might be so, but good professional help (seeing a Psychologist or Psychiatrist) might be advisable.

Most certainly and it just doesn't involve young children to teenagers, but adults as well. Sometimes our society can be pretty tough to live with and so, many of us turn to our beloved pets. They are loyal, accept us for who we are and always there to comfort us and always greet us with a grunt or a wagging tail.

However, I do agree with the other poster that teenagers can have depression or even suicidal thoughts (not trying to scare you here at all.) Being in school today is a lot harder than back in the 40s, 50s or even 60s. Peer pressure is extremely hard and right in a teenagers face every day at school. You may not be rich enough, have the right clothes, not attractive enough, your grades aren't "up there" or the teenager that doesn't fit in may not excel in sports and even be a bit of a wallflower. Drugs are at a very high rate in schools as well as alcohol. This problem is getting worse and worse each year (we see/hear it on the news) and the distaste for certain teenagers that don't fit in often can come to a violent end. Bullying, fights, ganging up on one person is considered "hip" in our modern society amongst some teenagers.

What can a parent do? It's a tough one. Especially boys who are bullied at school will not express themselves to their parents or even what friends they feel they have. Hormonal changes are another factor in teenagers. If you push your son too much and threaten to go to the school with the problem you will actually make matters worse for your son. He/she will be bullied even more and some teenagers are even brash enough to threaten to harm the families of the abused. It's best to try and sit down with your son and talk it out. If need be, and you can afford it there are other schools they can go to. Many parents have decided on private tutoring or even Home Schooling just to get them out of the normal educational system and uncontrolled environment in some schools.

Girls are more apt to answer questions if the mother asks, but more often than not react much the same as the boys. It's normal for some teenagers to be moody, irritable, think they are ugly or fat or just plain unattractive. The media has made darn sure that the kids of this generation feel they have to either be "one of the beautiful people" or they won't fit in. They have to have the right clothes and know the best people to get along in school these days. Although many schools have tightened up on security more and more weapons seem to be found in the schools. Gone are the days of two boys fighting a clean fight and now it's done with weapons, gangs, and threats. These threats are very real. It's time for parents to try and stop what they are doing and connect with their teenagers in some way. They won't ever know their teenager 100% because that's just the way it goes for teenagers, but be aware of what your children are dealing with.

If you are a single parent find someone you think your son or daughter could relate too other than yourself. The main point is to get the teenager to discuss what they really feel inside.

Children often will relate and seek comfort from a beloved family pet and when the pet dies it's just "another crummy event" in their lives. Also mortality can come into the picture. When a child or teenager first experiences death be it a friend, family member or pet it hits them square in the face that they too could die or even their parents. Most adults go on with their daily lives until we too are forced to face the reality of death in our lives and then we have to come face-to-face with those fears. It's really tough on the teenagers today. Instead of some parents giving their teenagers "things" they should give them love and understanding and no, you aren't always going to get the reaction you always want, but your son or daughter know that you are there for them and in time they will seek you out.

We all were teenagers once and I can remember I was sometimes too afraid to tell my parents some things because I thought I would be grounded (they were strict) but most of the time I thought they would have no idea what I was going through. How wrong I was! My parents persisted and talked to me even though I sat on the edge of my bed with a sour face and giving them "the eye" as if they were aliens from another planet, but I even surprised myself and realized I did pick up a thing or two of my parents wisdom which I still use to this day. So, keep talking in a calm manner to your teenager (alone) and they will get to trust you. Don't nag, don't judge and never discuss their personal feelings in front of one of their siblings or friends. What is between the two of you should stay between the two of you.

Good luck Marcy

It is not necessary for the teenager to "already be disturbed" in order to suffer greatly at the loss of a beloved pet. If the pet was beloved, it was part of the family, and a loss like that can be devestating. It can bring up issues having to do with god, bad things happening, why the world is the way it is--all issues teens have anyway. If the teen tends toward depression, the loss can be extra-devestating. But really, wouldn't it be more disturbing if it didn't bother the teen at all?

This will often lead to grieving over the loss, and it needs to be allowed to take its course. Go to http://www.mind.org.UK/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter.

Call: Pet Loss Support Hotline - Grief Counseling Hotline

Iowa State Univ. College of Veterinary Medicine

1-888-ISU-PLSH (1-888-478-7574)

Chatrooms and forums: http://www.helpguide.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or pet) Understand that there are often several stages of grief.

The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."

Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")

Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."

Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"

Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

See http://www.Amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2: see page R first, then teen depression,and the rest.

Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning: Beyond Grief: A guide for recovering from the death of a loved one; and: Men and grief: A guide for men surviving the death of a loved one, New Harbinger Productions Inc. 5674 Shattock Ave, Oakland, CA 94609 Phone: 1-800-784-6273

James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.

Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.

Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, .boblivingstone.com/

Tatelbaum, J. The Courage to Grieve. Creative Living, Recovery and Growth through Grief. New York: Harper & Row. (1980).

Roth, Deborah, ed. Stepping Stones to Grief Recovery. Santa Monica: IBS Press.(1987).

Coping with Grief by Mal McKissock and Dianne McKissock, ABC Books & Audio. 2001

35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child, The Dougy Centre for Grieving Children, 1999, Special:Booksources