What would you like to do?
Narcissists are addicted to a drug known as "Narcissistic Supply". Attention (good OR bad), adulation, applause, fame, celebrity, notoriety - are all narcissistic supply. The people who supply these consistently, reliably, and predictably, are called "Narcissistic Supply Sources".
Why should the narcissist look for another source of supply if the current source of supply is available (always accepts him back)?
Cultivating a source of secondary narcissistic supply is a VERY time consuming and energy consuming affair. The path of least resistance (reverting to old sources) is always preferred.
The old source has the advantage of having recorded memories of past grandeur. Her very "surrender" and "yielding to his charms" IS the supply he seeks.
He sort of pushes the envelope, trying to ascertain and map the outer limits of his potency as irresistible male and mate. The more tortured the relationship - the sweeter the recurrent victory. This is doubly true when the narcissist is in the throes of life crises such as loss of a job, divorce, serious illness, etc.
verbal abuse IS narcissistic supply!
NS includes attention, fame, notoriety, adulation, fear, applause, approval. It is a mixed bag. If the narcissist gets attention � positive or negative � it constitutes NS. If he can manipulate people or influence them � positively or negatively � it qualifies as NS.
Even quarrelling with people constitutes NS. Perhaps not the fighting itself � but the ability to influence other people, to induce feelings in them, to manipulate them emotionally, to make them do something or refrain from doing it.
I have come to believe that the pathologically narcissistic have a different relationship with reality than with the rest of us, in the sense that they disregard it in favor of the quality of "forms of words."
Put another way, truth is not so much about what really happened as about how many people they IMAGINE they can convince (and the egocentric DO tend to exaggerate this figure).
In my experience they genuinely don't seem to have a CLUE what kind of difference the facts AS THEY HAPPENED, make to other people.
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Yes, they forget insults, the ones they say to you. Narcissists are often vindictive and they often stalk and harass. They hold grudges indefinitely. They ra…rely forget a slight or an insult - real or imagined. They nurture the pain, dwell on it, magnify it, analyze it, and form conspiracy theories to explain it. The narcissist perceives every disagreement � let alone criticism � as nothing short of a THREAT. He reacts defensively. He becomes indignant, aggressive and cold. He detaches emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury. He devalues the person who made the disparaging remark. By holding the critic in contempt, by diminishing the stature of the discordant conversant � he minimises the impact on himself of the disagreement or criticism. Like a trapped animal, the narcissist is forever on the lookout: was this remark meant to demean him? Was this sentence a deliberate attack? Gradually, his mind turns into a chaotic battlefield of paranoia and ideas of reference until he loses touch with reality and retreats to his own world of fantasised grandiosity. When the disagreement or criticism or disapproval or approbation are PUBLIC, though � the narcissist tends to regard them as Narcissistic Supply! Only when they are expressed in private � does the narcissist rage against them. The cerebral narcissist is competitive and intolerant of criticism or disagreement. The subjugation and subordination of others demand the establishment of his undisputed intellectual superiority or professional authority. Alexander Lowen has an excellent exposition of this "hidden or tacit competition". The cerebral narcissist aspires to perfection. Thus, even the slightest and most inconsequential challenge to his authority is inflated by him. Hence, the disproportionateness of his reactions. Still, it is very easy to regain the narcissist's trust and favor by providing him with narcissistic supply. I don't think they ever forget. I knew one who completely out of context brought up a former best friend that was 5" late to a dinner meeting fifteen years ago and she spend five years trying to ruin her life as a reslut of the slight. He is still raging inside about the "incident" and likely will be forever. I had a conversation with mum. Mum told me that sis was borrowing her coat for a while among other info. Mum tells me so much that I make a list so that i don't forget anything. When other siblings wanted to know what mum told me, I told them everything because it was just a cheery phone call of "hello, what's news". Sis was with siblings when I said, "I talked to mum and she said the mailman's wife had a baby, the neighbors cat died, her teapot broke, and sis talked to her yesterday and asked to borrow her coat." Sis got irate. She told me to quit making things up. She said she never asked to borrow mum's coat. I told sis, mum told me that, so take it up with mum. I personally didn't see anything wrong with sis borrowing the coat and didn't understand what sis thought was so objectionable. I thought they had deal and mum didn't complain at all. Sis has been borrowing mum's things for years and showing up at parties wearing mum's things and never hid it from anyone. It was not an unusual incident. The next 3 months sis called every week telling me that mum said she was missing her hat and wanted to know if I had it. I said no. Sis said, "are you sure?" I said, "I never borrowed mum's hat." The next week sis called back and said, "did you borrow mum's hat." I said "no." Then she called again, "mum is missing her hat, did you take her hat?" I said, "no". She said, "are you sure?" I said, "I do not have mum's hat." She said, "mum's hat is missing" (as if I didn't hear her the first 15 times). Then next call, same thing. She said, "mum thinks someone stole her hat. Have you seen it." I said, "no". She said, "are you sure you didn't take it when you visited last?" I said, "I don't have mum's hat, I don't wear hats, no desire for hats and no I don't have mum's hat. For 3 months, and after 50 times saying no, I finally asked, "when are you going to quit asking me if I have mum's hat." She said, "mum said it not me, so take it up with mum." I guess she thinks she got revenge. She thinks that if she uses my own words back on me, that I can't defend myself, or I'd be attacking my own actions and not hers. She didn't realize I was innocent and relaying things from a list that mum told me and had no idea that her borrowing mum's coat would put her on defense. I had no malicious intent. She did have malicious intent and got revenge on me not once, but many times during the next 3 months. I call it revenge with interest. This is just 1 example. This is ongoing with sis. I never know what I did wrong until I hear my own words repeated by to me. That's how I know she is getting revenge. I think it would have been easier when she said, "you are lying" to just say, "you're right, I lied." But who knows what kind of revenge she would have done then. This was a no win situation. She is so on the lookout for people to do her evil, that she perceives attacks where they don't exist. Due to this, I never know when she is going to twist something. Auntie sent sister a get-well card with a letter. Sister said that auntie was accusing her of being a sickly and unhealthy person. I reminded sister that she had a cold a few weeks back. Sister said, "no this is serious, no one would send a get-well card for the common cold." My sisters son is named Jonathan. pronounced "joe-Nathan" not "john athon" No one can remember if it's Jonathon or Jonathan. My sister also has a northern accent that the southern family don't understand all the time. Cousin Mary was writing her a letter but couldn't find the birth announcement and couldn't remember how to spell Jonathan's name. For the last 10 years my sister spelled cousin Mary's name as Marry. My sister never confronted or asked, or said, BTW this is the correct spelling. She doesn't want to clear things up, or allow for apologies. She just seems to enjoy giving a life sentence to people for small, unintentional errors. What exactly is a grudge. I thought a grudge was for 1 mistake in the past that a person never forgave or forget. When I defend myself NOW for something CURRENT, such as, "honey have you seen the mustard" and he says, "I didn't eat all the mustard." and I say, "I didn't say you did, I just want to know if you have seen it, because I overlooked it." He then says, "I'm tired of you accusing me of things, like that time you accused me of patronizing you. I can't take it anymore. I never patronized you. Quit holding grudges. You are a grudge holder." I'm confused here. I have asked him once, very nicely, 15 years ago to please quit patronizing me. He raged, so I never brought it up again. He has never forgotten it. I thought he was the one holding the grudge. Is this an example of projection? No, and they don't forget anything else either. So beware! The insult they have done to others: always. The insult others have done to them: never. They forget promises made to you. Don't pay them in return for something they say they will do. When you ask for it, they will say you need to stop pushing them, and they don't have to do anything. They will say don't be so incredibly selfish. Months later, when they want something, they will apologize for saying something. It will be a very vague apology..."I was stupid. I don't like for us to fight." A year later, if you bring up the fact they lied about doing something in return for money etc., and that you don't get why they did that, they will not remember it. When you say they apologized, they will act surprised. One time I asked why he remembers some conversations so well, and other so poorly. He said that his brain is like a machine, and he gets rid of what he doesn't want. He then said "Don't mess with the machine." I am used to most of his weirdness. Still, the one thing they do go for is an area that you question your own abilities at. Don't complain about someone insulting you. The Narcissist will quickly agree with that person's insult. Narcissists are usually very talented, but can't fully take advantage of it(too controlling.)
a N. can be won over simply by finding what it is they want next. if it is something they are wanting they will be eating out of the palm of your hands. be sure it's something… they truly desire. this can be a little tricky also. they are shrewd and suspicious and very paranoid. WIN them OVER?!?!?! If you're trying to "win over" a Narcissist, maybe you don't fully understand what they are. They are users. They will use you for as long as they can -- if it suits their needs, lying, cheating, conning and manipulating to get wha they want. Then they will drop you when they are done and move on to the next source of "supply". As if you never existed. Forget winning them over. You need to run. In the OPPOSITE direction of the Narcissist. And fast. ~ T You cant, that's why they are narcassists. They are way too manipulative and you cannot beat them at their own game. They never get tired of manipulating and playing their head games. The best thing is to just end the relationship and realise you were not in love with a real person. What you were in love with was the illusion they presented to you. They are empty shells. They have no heart. You cannot win over something that is not there. You cant win over a N, they win you over. If you have ever known a true N, think about the contacts or relationships they have with others and how the N percieves these interactions. The only relationships Ns have are by design or need. If you do win an N over it is only because they are one step ahead of you and have plans in place for the relationship that eventuates. So don't think you have actually won over an N if you end up with one you have pursued. They are clever strategists who don't do anything for nothing.
Does a person with a Narcissistic Personality find it very easy to cry Crocodile Tears to win someone over?
Do you mean fake crying? If so, YES!!! Especially they are notorious for this ACT ober the phone. Notice its more on the phone and when in person they will NOT really let you …see their face as they are faking it. They are good actors/actresses and can turn any moment into an old Humphrey Bogart film! They love the drama and the reaction from their preformance. They do this obviuosly to gain you, control, pity and whatever else they want. Ah, the fake crying...This I remember well. My N could get so worked up over issues concerning himself, the death of his father which he idolized (and was also a narcissist) his unfortunate lot in life...This same father who could do no wrong apparently abused him, so says my ex(?) What a contradiction! He would cry buckets over all this. When I pointed out the inconsistency to him,(His hero father..an abuser?) he switched off the tears and turned immediately into a mad, raving lunatic. THIS neat trick was one of the things that convinced me I was dealing with a narcissist (later confirmed by a therapist) I wanted to add that my N was very talented when it came to impersonating famous people, their voices, etc. I used to love this about him. He was a real crack-up and quite amazing. Now I know he uses this very same talent to manipulate. I believe he is a very keen observer of people. He uses this information against them. Mine could cry on a dime, so could his narcissist father. Their faces are amazingly elastic, and the one I lived with used to practice expressions in the mirror. They also have remarkable control over their voices and can often impersonate celebrities to subtly influence you. My narcissist even told me how to do the fake cry--just hold your eyes open for about 30 seconds and they will tear up. It hurts, but what does a narcissist care? They think they are tough if they can stand pain.
Give yourself a serious reality check. Stop pining over a delusion. Everything about a narcissist is an overblown illusion created to lure you in. Think about what you got out… of the relationship and what you had to give. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship when it's all about one person only. Move on.
Why are you very depressed over a narcissist ex who left you for another girl and want him back even though he insults and abuses you?
NO MEANS NO Well I must start off my saying that I was abused, and I NEED to answer this question for you. First I am going to say that the reason you want him still is b…ecause he is all you know. You want him to want you again. You liked it when he used to beg and cry to you, because that showed he wanted you. And although he was abusive to you, you still liked the attention. Believe it or not, in abuse victims, bad attention is still just considered attention to them. Any attention is good attention. But I need to tell you, LET HIM GO! He may have left you for another girl, but you are better than her. Dont think of him leaving you as a bad thing, think of it as " now i dont have to get abused anymore". I was abused very badly, he beat me while I was pregnant with my son, he beat me EVERYDAY, he was a horrible person, and I will say for the longest time I never wanted him to leave me, and then when it really was OVER i was glad. And then he was the one begging me to come back. And I stood up, and said NO! I am a woman and i dont desreve this. And my wonderful fiancee now, brought him all of his belongings, and that was all. So my point is that you have to let go, you dont deserve and abuse. and HE doesnt desreve you! If you ever want to chat email me at email@example.com MORE INFO. ITS AALYAH (PERSON THAT ASKED THE QUESTION), U KNOW WHAT U R TOTALLY RIGHT, I GOT A CALL FROM HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND TODAY SWEARING AT ME CALLING ME ALL SORTS OF DISGUSTING NAMES AND HE WAS IN THE BACKGROUND LAUGHING AND CALLIN ME ABUSE AS WELL. I NOW KNOW IT WAS NEVER LOVE AS HE IS THIS ABUSIVE SINCE HE FOUND THIS OTHER GIRL, WHO HE MET WHILE HE WAS WITH ME, I HAVE WOKEN UP NOW. BUT I AM SERIOULSY DEPRESSED, HE LEFT FOR HER, CHEATED AND ABUSED ME AND NOW HE HAS NO HEART FOR ME WHATSOEVER, I NEVER IMAGINED THIS IS WHAT HE WAS REALLY LIKE. I HAVE WOKEN UP, BUT HOW DO I GET OVER IT NOW? NO OTEHR GUY COMPARES TO HIM, I NO THAT SOUNDS SICK, BUT THEY DONT. I FEEL WORTHLESS, TORN, AND CANT GET THROUGH THIS. HOW DO I FORGET HIM AND STOP CRYING EVERYDAY I feel your pain girl! I really do! You have to remember that it is what they do. A snake bites and it hurts, but would we be more careful...of course we would. So why do we take these slime bags back? It's emotions...they are involved, and they created an illusion for us, and that's what makes us hold on to. I know this because my narcissist was not bad all the time, so the illusion of him being nice is what I held on to, cause then you think that's the way he's going to be with other woman. Well, he will be for a while, but then in time she will do something that is not to his liking and he will begin to devalue her as well. ITS AN ILLUSION HE CREATED SO IN THE END YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM! It's bull crap! He's a abuser, and that's what abusers do, they abuse. Like a snake bites, cat's meow and dogs bark. Please read up on narcissistic personality disorder, and you'll learn alot. Stay strong girl...i still cry every day but you have to pick up and move forward...And separate yourself physically...no contact is a must....for the clouds to clear.. Remain emotionally neutral for a while. Take care of your beautiful self. P.S. I thought i mean't every thing my ex N, but in the end to him I was worn out, washed up and not of use for him anymore.. exactly how he said it, and exactly how he planned it too. You cannot relate to someone who is not normal. We are kind loving human beings, they are vampires..waiting to suck the life out of someone whom will allow them to do it. Lesson learned...I'd say!
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No, but you can become very good at looking after your own interests, since they certainly won't.
you get naked and say im here baby
testimonial will help u
usually it is intended to be an insult but it all depends on who says it, their tone of voice, and why they called you a "character."
It is usually referred to as cyberbullying.
“There are two places only where socialism will work; in heaven where it is not needed, and in hell where they already have it.” -Winston Churchill. In USA it …still is due to their unified devotion towards Democracy/Capitalism as well as severe detest towards Communism/Soviet Ideology. Socialism/communism was not what brought this country to glory. It was through capitalism that allowed us to excel. Look at India and China, where their form of government is or similar to such a government. It wasn't until India's caste system faded that allowed them to open up to more of a capitalistic government that is allowing them to prosper so well, and china to allow a little freedom in their market. A government that regulate and controls things in a socialistic/ communism way limits our capability to succeed in today's global challenge. So yes, socialism/communism is an insult to the average American.
Try to be yourself and don't get all panicy.It happened to me once but the other guy didn't like her.So don't wory.
Most narcissists do have a socially pleasing demeanor. A person can be obsessed with themselves even to the point of how they appear to others.
Try to ignore them but if it persists say something witty so they know that your not insult-able stuff. Also asking an elder to help is an option
OMG ! why would you want to win a narcissist! Obviously, you should research what a narcissist is first. That is what I had to do and believe me that is the last thing I would… like to win. Please do some indepth research before you try and win a narcissist's heart - you will be glad you did. We only have one life to live and make it a good one.
what i would do is just ignore them and show that you don't care.... they are doing it just to make themselves feel better on a problem they are going through because they don…'t want to feel miserable by themselves so just ignore them and show you don't care and they will leave you alone because they see it isn't affecting you.