Hi I am the mother of a 12-year-old boy who weighs only 50 pounds. 2 kids beat him up for being skinny he is shy and passive too. What should I do?

Answer 1

My daughter was 5'8" and 90 pounds at 12 years of age, and she was picked on about it pretty badly. We enrolled her in a karate class, not to teach her how to kick their butts, but to help give her some self confidence. As a side benefit, she started putting on some lean muscle. She is still thin, but she gained 10 pounds in the first few months just from bulking up a little. Her confidence is doing better.

I also went up to the school and raised heck on a regular basis until it started getting more under control. I put everything in writing in emails so I could refer back to it when in person. The school wasn't very helpful in the beginning, but when they realized I wasn't going anywhere, they really got on the ball and things got better.

Answer 2

But MOOOOOM! Yes, I've heard it too. First my dear, get him enrolled in a karate class or other self defense class. Your child will suddenly have a growth spurt and then he will need the coordination that these classes provide. It is wonderful exercise and provides him with some self confidence. It also teaches him that he can defend himself without being a bully.

The "shy and passive" part of his personality most likely is due to his being small for his age. Have you talked to his pediatrician? If he is height/weight normal, then it is NOT best to try to force feed him. This will only give him resistance issues. Do you have him on vitamins? Most pediatricians these days do not recommend them, yet at his weight, it couldn't hurt! There may be some tiny nutrient that he isn't getting enough of in his diet, so a Flintstones can't hurt and might help. Doctors are so overwhelmed with patients these days that they seldom catch the less obvious issues.

Finally, have you considered home school? From the sounds of it, this won't be an isolated incident. If it were my child and I could afford it, I would home school. This would take the pressure off him having to compete with larger children and give him time to get balance back in his life. If his grades are average and you know he can do better, it is worth a thought.

My child was bullied by his teacher! I realized it, tried to work through the school to correct it, but in the end, I had to remove him from that school. Since I was a single mother, home school wasn't feasible for me, but I did find excellent private schools that I could afford. It's a matter of priorities; do you want to "socialize" your child in today's bullying atmosphere? or do you want a healthy well adjusted child who will make a marvelous adult? I found my solution in private institutions, you might investigate those also.

So! Plan of attack! Complain to the school about the bullies, have your child checked for "normal" growth by his pediatrician, and enroll him in self defense classes. Never worry about how he will become "normal"...that is only a word in the dictionary. A happy well adjusted child will always turn out "normal"...and maybe even "exceptional." Attend to his happiness first, then worry about the other stuff later.

Oh and by the way, my child, the "idiot savant" (so classed by the state educational system) ended up being the valedictorian in his class, and is a successful manager of a retail operation now. Believe in yourself, your child, and work toward insuring his happiness...whichever way that process takes you.