What would you like to do?
Surely you can get the police to help? don't let this person rule your life and detroy your childrens..it will happen. go to charity organisations most of them have places to stay and people to help Thank You for answering. However, since there is no physical abuse, the police can't do anything. The abuse is psychological, emotional, mental, verbal, and very, very controlling. Are there any other ideas? It's very distressing. I have been talking with a counselor. However, I don't want to become just another domestic abuse case study.
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Is there any 'legal action' one can take to stop the narcissistic abuser from continuing involvement with the victim's family and friends after the victim has left and filed for divorce?
Answer . You can get a court order to have the abuser stay away from you. but your family will have to apply for a restraint order on their own as well as your friends will… have to retain their own court orders and deal with it individually. You will have to see a lawyer and even if you get a restraint order against the abuser it is generally classified as "just a piece of paper" and you still may not be protected. Before you spend your money on getting a restraint order ask the lawyer in your state how much clout this legal action will have if the abuser should still contact you.\n. \nGood luck\nMarcy
Answer . \nThere is no answer to your question, at least not one that you can be sure is right. What you need to consider is how strong the person is, how good a support …system other family and friends are providing... and Does this person truly want out? Trying to change someone, staying because you love the person or being afraid to leave all are major factors in how long it takes.
Here are some steps that abused people often experience: Denial--he/she hits me but can't control their feelings, they don't mean to get so rough. If it is only… emotional abuse, the abused sees the abuser as saying things in the heat of the moment, and possibly not viewing it as abuse because there are no physical blows involved. The abuser can be kind and loving at times--they are not abusive 24/7. Other people, friends and family think he/she is charming. Am I crazy, or is this really abuse? Acceptance--go along with everything the abuser says. Stay out of the abuser's way when they are in a bad mood. Keep the children out of their way. Never discuss finances, problems with the kids. Give noncommittal answers in an attempt not to be baited into an argument. Don't offer opinions. Try to learn from "mistakes" which resulted in the abuser being physically/emotionally violent towards the person. Hurt--why does the abuser do this to me? What haven't I done to appease his/her anger? Am I the only person he/she has done this to? Do I bring out something bad in them? Guilt--the abused fell in love with this person, married them or had children with them. They often feel obligated to make things work, to help the abuser with their anger and control issues. They may feel they are a failure or are bailing out. Fear--how can I leave? Where do I live, how can I afford a place to rent? How can I keep him/her from taking our children? How can I keep him from finding me and trying to hurt me? This is what I need to do to stop this, but there is fear of the future and the unknown. Here are some other opinions from our community: There are no "stages" to go through when deciding to leave an abusive relationship, whether it is physical, verbal, mental...etc. When you love and respect yourself, you won't tolerate any demeaning treatment, even on the first encounter. I think people do go through various stages in emotionally preparing themselves to leave abusive relationships. I think the above poster did not read the question correctly. Usually the first stage is the abuse. The victim may go into denial for a long time such as having hope he will change. Then the next stage the victim becomes more aware. She may pick up a book on abuse and relate it to her situation. Then the victim may become angry and disgusted with the abuser. She may begin to distance herself so she can look at her situation more objectively. Then the final stage she has had enough and makes plans to leave. Pay no mind to the previous poster. Sometimes ignorance can appear as rudeness. A victim of abuse must have good plans in place. Slowly start packing just a few things (the abuser shouldn't be able to notice anything missing) and then go to a pay phone (don't phone from your home) and call the "Abused Women's Center." If you can't find the number call "Mental Health" or the operator and they will help you. When you feel the time is right (when the abuser is at work, the bar, etc.) then leave! Don't tell ANYONE where you are going! This is for your own safety. If you have children take them with you as the counselor at the Abused Women's Center will have someone look after them in another room while they question you. Once you leave your abuser expect not to go back! When you meet with your counselor at the Abused Women's Center (great gals and very understanding) they will ask you questions so they can understand your particular situation. You will then be sent to a "Transition House" or a "safe house" and it's important you let NO ONE know where you are. Your children will go with you. At the Transition House you will stay there and take some programs, get counseling, perhaps legal counsel, and, you will be expected to earn your way there by doing some chores. When you are ready they will help you get established in your own place and even help you find work. Don't be afraid! You are stronger than you think! It sounds like you've had enough and good for you! The sooner you get away from this jerk the better.
Answer Look up 'Womens' Rescue' in Yellow Pages, and CALL THEM, they will help you both physically and emotionally. Answer Dial 211, the N…ational Help Hotline. They will be able to refer you to an organization in your area that will be able to help.
Is it normal for friends and family to think that an abuse victim is just out to get her abuser when in reality the victim just wants her feelings validated?
Answer . It's hard to believe, but there are so many people that just don't understand abuse. At one time I knew about abuse and I helped a couple of my girlfriends get ou…t of abusive relationships, but I didn't actually witness it. Then I volunteered for the Abused Women's Center" and had my eyes really opened. It's an experience I am so glad I went through although it ripped my heart out at the same time. Sometimes we have to see the ugly side of life to really get to the core of problems. We can talk about it, even with those that suffer from certain situations, but until you see it with your own eyes and get involved then a person knows nothing.\n. \nNo! It's not normal for friends or family to think that you, as a victim of abuse is just out to get your abuser. If they were educated in abuse they would realize that most of the time the victim is terrified of her abuser, becomes subservient, withdrawn, lacks confidence and doesn't want to wake up the sleeping dragon (tick the abuser off in other words.) \n. \nOf course you want your feelings validated. Why not! You've been either mentally/physically (or both) abused. Like small children's voices in the wind .... who will listen? Well, the "Abused Women's Center" does. You DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM ANYONE! When you can, pack a bag and head for that Abused Women's Center in your area. Tell NO ONE where you are. They will put you in a "safe house" or "transition house" and keep you safe, get you on your feet, and, if need be help you with legal counsel. \n. \nHon, listen to your inner self. If you are being abused, then you know it! Run when you can. Don't listen to those that aren't there for you and move on from the whole mess. It isn't that family and friends don't care, but perhaps they simply don't understand that abuse is abuse and slapping, shoving, putting a person down is actually abuse. \n. \nRule of thumb to go by ... "When someone makes you feel bad 100% of the time it's time to leave them behind!" \n. \nGood luck\nMarcy
Can it be possible that part of the responsibility of abuse is on the victim for letting it happen instead of stopping it from the beginning?
Answer No. It is completely wrong to ever blame the victim for abuse. Sometimes victims are so confused, frightened and depressed that they turn it all inward an…d blame themselves even though it is never their fault that someone else causes them harm.
The victim is less likely to aggravate existing injuries The victim is less likely to have his or her injuries made worse by movement across rough terrain. Also, dep…ending on the circumstances, a litter makes a victim far easier to transport. * Stabilization of the victim's spine. * Ability to easily move the victim into shock and recovery positions. * Safety of the victim and rescue team. * The ability to move the victim in all 3 dimensions without significant risk of losing control of the victim * Control of the incognizant patient.
I can only tell you my experience. One they will ignore you. Then when they think they have "punished" you enough (even though you were the one that left and were re…lieved to get away; its all about THEM remember not you) they will get in touch as if nothing has happened turning on the FULL charm offensive, and say they will "forgive" you for all your faults,..they wont even ACKNOWLEDGE that you have left! If that doesn't work, they will remind you of all the nice things they did for you, how they helped you in every way (in other words you OWE me). Then they will say how much they loved you and all the troubles in the relationship stemmed from you, and if only you would have been more co-operative you and he would have had the perfect life. But he's willing to give you another chance in this journey you are on together. Then he will tell you how long-suffering he was and how he tried to ignore all your faults, but he couldn't help how he felt and you just were impossible for one reason or another to earn his trust, and everything bad he did to you was because he just couldn't TRUST you. Then you begin to think that it wasn't you that ended this relationship..it was him..and it was because you didn't treat him nice!! If you come to your senses at this point and tell him to take a hike, he will ignore you again, this time for real and go and find someone new to pester and brainwash. And after living practically the whole of my life with Ns..you don't live with these people (my dad, my first husband, a few of my live in boyfriends) without picking up on some of their traits and thinking. They are ALWAYS in the right; they can NEVER be proven wrong. You will ALWAYS be inferior to their awesome mindpower, sexual attraction, and if you can't handle how, great, good, popular, honest and super-human they are, its YOU who has the problem.
Most victims of abuse just want to leave with the clothes on their back and are not worried about leaving their abuser penniless. The abuser has taken everything from their v…ictim ... their dignity; peace of mind; brain washed them into believing no other man would want them and they are useless and will never make it out in the world on their own; alienated them from their family and friends and controlled all money issues in the relationship. If there are children involved then the best you can hope for is child support and that would have to go through the courts. Victims of abuse generally want no part of their abuser and will do anything to stay completely away. The victim should seek help from Women's Abuse Centers to find a 'safe place' until they can get on their feet. These centers give moral support; programs about victims of abuse; go to court with them; help with any children the victim may have and help them find a job. If you are smart you'll head out the door and never look back and not look for revenge because the abuser always loses in the end ... they hang themselves with their own rope.
What is the best way to manually transport an injured unconscious victim if you are the only individual physically able to transport the victim?
Do not move an unconscious person unless the patient is in danger of being burnt, or is in a perilous situation. The person could have an injured spine or neck. Moving the vic…tim could result in further injury and paralysis. If you must move the person by yourself you can carry the person over your shoulder. If the person is too heavy and it is possible to safely drag the person away from danger by grabbing his or her ankles and pulling him or her to safety. Hopefully you will never have to do that. If there is no danger keep the person still and don't move him unless he or she needs a tourniquet. Stop all bleeding, check for breathing and do CPR if needed. Check pulse and see if the eyes are evenly dilated. Call 911. If you can't get through to 911 call someone you know or an operator and get help. If you are in the wilderness with no cell phone coverage try to cover the victim with something warm and run to get help and don't forget the way back to the victim. If you are in the snow then try to get patient to a warm place and get help.....unless you suspect there is a spinal injury. If you are skiing you can use skis as a gurney and slide the patient to help if you cannot get through on a cell phone.
How can family members friends health care providers or police respond to ensure safety of domestic abuse victims?
When someone calls 9-1-1 about a domestic assault, the police should immediately "go after" both the victim and the suspect (because sometimes it's the one who looks like the …victim who is the abuser), question them, and immediately do something at that point. When it is left for the victim to gain courage and confidence to actually do something that will end the cycle of abuse, it is almost always too late. Authorities, family, etc. should all step in as soon as possible, and at least provide the victim with an extremely quick escape route/option/plan.
Conscious. An unconscious victim is assumed to want first aid assistance, since they are incapable of giving consent. Consent must be attained before a rescuer may tou…ch a patient. Failure to do so can result in prosecution from the patient. Given consent - The adult, (18+), patient that is conscious can give consent directly but a parent or legal guardian must give consent for a conscious minor or a mentally handicapped patient. Implied consent - The unconscious patient can be helped without consent but a rescuer should ask / look for their next of kin first.
In First Aid
When should you give lifesaving first aid to an injured victim of a radiological transportation accident?
Immediately after notifying the appropriate authorities (call 911 first) then help the victim, there is minimal concern for radiation hazards..
Not if they have any self worth even though broken.
Is it possible for a victim of a narcissist to become a true friend of the narcissist after leaving the relationship for a second time?
No. A victim of narcissism will probably leave that relationship with several insurmountable obstacles to friendship. First, victims of narcissism will typically be filled wit…h rage (unless they have bought into the lies of the N and have been broken down). Since there is no reasoning with a N, they have years of unresolved hostility that has not been able to be expressed. Second, it seems that the N loses his/her "human" status to many victims. It is impossible to view the N as a human being with normal emotions, thought processes, or predictable reactions. That's because a N does not have normal, adult emotional processing. They are broken. Unfortunately, there is no fix/cure for narcissism and there is no hope of maintaining a healthy relationship with one who suffers it. The victim needs to walk away -- for good. And in the end, it's what the N expects anyway.
Abuse is typically physical, emotional, or sexual in nature and can include neglect. There are many possible signs that a child may be the victim of varying kinds of abuse…, and many of these signs can also be signs that other things are wrong besides abuse. Using lists of possible warning signs should be treated with caution. For example, speaking of sexual abuse only, some of the signs can include: Bedwetting Emotional/behavioral changes Inappropriately touching other children or adults Knowledge of sexual acts beyond one's age range Using sexual language beyond one's age range Behaving sexually in public (ie, masturbating, undressing) Many of these things can be signs of other issues or problems completely unrelated to being sexually abused, so consulting an expert in the suspected variety of abuse can be helpful. While many signs of abuse, sexual and otherwise, can be signs of other things, you can consult a child advocacy center in your area or find a prevention organization specific to the variety of abuse you are concerned about. Googling, for example, "emotional child abuse advocacy" can find some organizations. For sexual abuse, Stop It Now! can be a great starting point, as can Darkness to Light, state-specific CASA (Coalition Against Sexual Assault/Abuse) organizations, and The Mama Bear Effect can be good resources.