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How does a same-sex couple set up a will?

Updated: 8/16/2019
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15y ago

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Get a gay-friendly lawyer. (I am NOT an attorney!)

Since your partner -- at least in most places as of this writing -- is not legally your spouse, s/he is not legally related. In most states, this means you will need to specifically exclude your relatives from your estate (or give them specific bequests) to demonstrate that you know what you are doing. [While not necessarily a bad idea, this is not true].

You should also prepare a financial power of attorney authorizing your spouse to act on your behalf in the event you cannot. [It is very important that it be a DURABLE power of attorney; and, you should get a health care proxy as well.]

The rules for gay couples are changing pretty quickly, so it's a good idea for the three of you (you, your partner and your lawyer) to review the will every few years. Among other things, this will help to demonstrate the consistency of your intentions.

Live long and prosper!

It is best to consult an attorney and ANYONE with a complicated testamentary plan (gay couples, people with children from a previous marriage or someone leaving a large amount of money to a non-relative) should definitely do so. A good attorney can also help you determine whether a will substitute (i.e. a living trust) is right for you.

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