Is exposing the narcissist helpful in healing the abused when the relationship ends?

Answer 1

It may give you some of your power back to think of exposing the person, but in the long run it affects you more than the abuser. Better to let the rest of the world teach them. You can move forward, with compassion, and find your real life there. Why bother? Although narcissists are chameleons in nature (change their personality to meet their needs) the majority of the public isn't stupid. There will be a time when the narcissist will slip-up and the true personality will be revealed. A victim of a narcissist (in your case) is seeking more of a "I told you about him/her and now you know I told the truth." IT DOESN'T MATTER! People leave their relationships for various reasons and don't need to explain to others why. It's important you just get away from the person. You know who you are and that you aren't At Fault and that's all that matters. It's best to kick this person to the curb and move on or you'll just end up wasting your energy and getting no satisfaction from it. It's important you seek counseling because you have taken verbal/emotional abuse and you need to realize and prove to yourself (at this point) that none of it was your fault. It's difficult for the victim at times not to blame themselves no matter how hard they try. I was married once before and my ex was verbally/physically abusive and he cheated often and after I left him 3 1/2 years later (don't know what took me so long) it took me sometime before I stopped blaming myself. I thought I had all the answers, but shocked myself into realizing that I had come to think that "I" must have done something to deserve all this and that people just didn't go out and cheat on one for no reason. I finally got the picture that there are disturbed and troubled people out there and they manage to hang themselves all on their own time and no one got them to that point. Good luck