What are some Coping skills for an abusive relationship?

Answer 1

Abusive relationships should NEVER be tolerated or "Coped" with. The father of my 1st son was extremely abusive, He broke my arm, tried to light me on fire by first pouring lighter fluid on me and then flicking matches at me from across the room and other assorted cruelties. The first thing to do is for YOU to realize that he is not going to change. No matter how much you try to love him or try to get him not to hurt you, he in NOT going to change! All abusive men or young men are the same, they hit you or hurt you and then they cry on their knees and BEG you to stay and SWEAR that they will never hurt you again! You know that this new behavior only lasts for about a week and then he's back to his old ways. That's because this is who he is and he will not change, no matter what. If you fall for his lies over and over again and stay in the relationship, you are silently giving him permission to keep on hurting you. If you have kids, think of what he is teaching them when he hurts you...He is showing them that it is OK, for a man to be abusive to a woman! If you have a little boy and you stay with this guy, your son will most likely grow up to abuse his girlfriends, wife, children, etc..., If you have a little girl, she will think it is NORMAL to be hit and hurt by a man and will grow up and get into abusive relationships! If you don't have kids yet, Thank your lucky stars and then ask yourself why you stay with such a mean person. He does NOT LOVE you,my guess is that you grew up around abuse yourself, right? There are shelters who will take battered women alone or with children, you need to get out while you can. If he has made threats like: "If you ever leave me, I'll find you and Kill you" (most of them make this threat), get an Order of Protection from Abuse so he cannot come near you!Remember, even though you feel like there is no way out, there is! You are worth it! Don't wait one minute longer, get out NOW, there is a whole new world waiting out there for you. Also do yourself a favor and seek counseling to help you get over what happened during the relationship and to help to build some self-esteem. Most battered women have very little if any self-esteem. Here is proof, If you had any self-esteem, you wouldn't be where you are right now! You would never accept what this ***hole is dishing out! It is not your fault, he most likely tells you that you are nothing and that no one else but him would take you! He most likely puts you down constantly. Perhaps you were abused as a child yourself...I know I was!One of the reasons women stay in abusive relationships is because even though they are horrible, at least they know what to expect. The unknown can be very scary. What can be scarier than a man who flies off the handle for no apparent reason and physically and mentally abuses you! This is real life baby! Just get out and work on yourself and when the time is right, you'll meet a man who will treat you like a princess. But that time will not come until you GET OUT of this abusive relationship and work on yourself, you must LOVE yourself before you can truly LOVE another. I speak from experience here. I left my abusive boyfriend right after I had my baby, and I thank God that I did, my boy grew up healthy and happy, he is not abusive and never will be! I successfully broke the chain of abuse for my future generations, and so can you! Make some phone calls, get that order of protection and GET OUT NOW!!MY man now is a real man who would NEVER lay a finger on me to hurt me. He Loves me and treats me like gold. He respects me, he listens to what I have to say and really cares about my thoughts and opinions. We work on the relationship together as a team to keep it healthy and when we do have an argument, we work through it. He cooks for me, brings me coffee in the morning and tells me all day long how much he loves me and how beautiful I am. You can have this too some time in your future, but do what you NEED to do now, Before it is too late, PLEASE!! God Bless you Girl!One last thing: Get Out NOW!!!!!!