What are the lyrics to Georgian Make-Up horrible histories?

Answer 1

a gorgeous Georgian lady,

is quite a sight to see,

for some splendid beauty tips pay attention listen to me,

white is beautiful dear ladies,

smear your face with paint of lead,

never mind the lead has made the men who mixed it ill or dead,

take some silk of red or black,

cut a circle or a crescent,

stick it to your face to cover small pox scars,

it's much more pleasant,

shave your eyebrows clean away,

take a trap,

and catch some mice,

make false eyebrows with the mouse skin,

stick them on you'll look so nice,

(squeek squeek)

next you'll need a monster wig,

if you want to look real smashing,

when your wig has reached the roof,

then you'll be the height of fashion,

decorate your lovely hair piece,

use the feathers of a parrot,

add some ribbons, fruit and flowers from your ear then hang a carrot,

make your face look soft and chubby,

pack your mouth with balls of cork,

hang your false teeth in the middle,

hope you don't choke when you talk,

now you've followed my advice,

last of all you need a fan,

flutter it oh so demurely,

then your sure to bag your man

ahhh...