What is it like living with someone who has ADHD?

Answer 1

Well, it depends on the person. I have asperger's syndrome myself and things I learned from my own experience is that people with asperger's can be very easily aggravated and aggressive. But also what I have learned is that people with asperger's can sometimes understand things more easily and sometimes more faster than people without asperger's.

Personally...I am a very mildly affected adult woman. I was born with impaired social skills, but I am a social person by nature of my personality separate from Asperger's syndrome. I can be overly sensitive, both physically and emotionally speaking. Sleeping on my stomach is impossible due to physical sensitivities in my breasts. I'm prone to headaches due to sensitivity to noise. However, I am often unaware of how loud or quiet my own voice is, and my own voice as well as voices that are similar to my own do not bother me. Voices that I am used to also do not bother me, usually, not unless they are suddenly angered. I have a higher stress level than most people do. Sometimes this can cause me to act aggressive, sometimes this can cause me to panic, and other times, it can cause me to just "space out" in my mind. The worst thing that can happen is stress-induced non-epileptic seizures that can resemble grand mal seizures. Seizures occur in less than a third of people with Asperger's syndrome, and I'm one of those people.

I have a large number of Allergies. All of my allergies are related to food, except for bee stings and an allergy to bee stings has nothing to do with Asperger's syndrome. I have a poor immune system, even though I am an adult who has lived through many illnesses.

As mentioned earlier, my social skills are below average. In fact, part of my diagnosis includes Mild Social Retardation. This is extremely different from mental retardation -- I was also retested for mental intelligence as my childhood score was inaccurate, and my mental intelligence is above average -- and this does not automatically dictate whether one is an extrovert or an introvert. Just as there are mentally challenged people who love to read, there are socially challenged people who love to socialize. Such people are exceptional, but we are out there. I socialize best with children. My personality, separate from Asperger's, is a maternal personality and children's social developments are closer to my own. I am emotionally and socially about eight-years-old, though I am physically, mentally, sexually, etc. within my physical age group. This is actually helpful in my friendships with children. I am smart enough and motherly enough to be seen as their elder, but childish enough to also be a true friend who does not look down on anyone for age. I would not trade that for anything.

I have inborn "book smarts", as do most people with Asperger's syndrome. I also have a good memory for dates and a very long, detailed memory in general. Asperger's syndrome is called "the nerd syndrome" for reasons. Also like with most people that have AS, I have less common sense than you probably do. This is probably part of why more women with AS marry than men. A woman who has damsel-in-distress moments is more socially acceptable than a man-in-distress.

One stereotype is that people with Asperger's are good at math. I completely buck this stereotype. Math turns me into a ditz. Like most women, I am more partial to grammar and literature. That said, I am more interested in history. The special interests of females with Asperger's tend to be common interests of most "normal" females, such as books or dolls or general fantasy adventures, so girls are rarely diagnosed whereas boys with Asperger's tend to have more obscure interests like vacuum cleaner bags. More research needs to be done on females with the condition, especially metafemales (females with an extra female chromosome) who are more prone to have this additional syndrome. We're all the proof needed to debunk the theories that the autism spectrum is connected to testosterone levels, but there are 1 in 110 people on the autism spectrum (which includes Asperger's), and 1 in 70 boys of the general populace on the spectrum. There are only 1 in 1,000 metafemales. Still, with five to ten metafemales born daily, research ought to be furthered.

I am considered a research orphan because I am metafemale, because I am female, and because I was over 22 (twice over, actually) by the time I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Girls and women are usually "cleaned out of the data so as not to muddy it up" when Asperger's is researched. This is extremely unfair. However, there is a much greater chance for a female with Asperger's to "blend in" more successfully than for a male to do the same. We often get married and have children, just usually later in life than most women do. The main reason for the delay is that finding ourselves and our place in the world is a struggle, and we are easily manipulated into thinking poorly of ourselves.

My main struggle with Asperger's syndrome is that I cannot automatically understand the intentions of other people. I long ago taught myself to cope with this by assuming the worst about others, and that made me more miserable. This is a habit that I am trying to rid myself of without getting hurt.

Answer 2

Are you the parent or a sibling? Is the child high or low functioning? It will depend on the surrounding personality of the syndrome and the other dynamics of the relationship as much as it depends on the condition. I am a parent of a high-functioning 4 year old with asperger's.

To be fairly brief he is very difficult. Much harder than my other children, requires more time, energy, and financial resources. My wife has not been able to work because she has had to stay with him all of the time. We have recently had to rent an apartment in a large city away from my work so he can attend daily therapy. It has been a huge strain on our relationship.

That being said, my asperger's child is the most wonderful thing in my life. I love him more than I ever knew I would be able to love. He's super intelligent, very funny, very athletic. He's perfect. And very difficult.

But what its like for you? Only you can answer that.

My brother has aspergers. He is 19 now with the mindset of a 12 year old. He can cook and take care of himself. He does have to be reminded to shower and wash his clothing. He will talk to about Video Games or wars forever. He has to be told to stop and even then he challenges that and continues. If you call, and he answers, you have to tell him why your calling right away or he can get into his favourite subjects. He is not hard to live with. He has no sense of emergency tho. I was hit by a car and when the paramedics came to the door, he answered. They told him to go get my step father. He went to my step father and told him I wanted to talk to him. My step father took his time and then realized I had been hurt.

He is very caring though and loves to give when he can. Fortunately, we have 2 little girls in the house who will listen to him all day.

My father also may have had it, though he was very aggressive and emotionally not there. Unfortunately, he passed away so we will never know if he had it or not.

Answer 3

Someone who has ADHD has trouble focusing, can be overactive and unable to control behavior. If you believe you or someone you know has ADHD, seek medical advice.