What is the treatment for narcissists?

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Before believing that there is no hope for treatment (as you easily could by reading a lot of misinformation on-line about narcissism) please consider these points;

a. Are you sure of the diagnosis? Even professionals have trouble distinguishing between NPD and narcissistic tendencies and the prognosis for each is different.

b. Just because standard therapy is not usually sought by sufferers does not mean that there are not other important steps that you can and should take if you have a family member with these symptoms. Partners learning better responses to narcissistic behaviour is a completely valid therapeutic option - endorsed by the majority of professionals working in this area.

c. Even if you are not able to tame the tiger you will need to learn good self protection skills and boundary setting. Simply abandoning/rejecting a family member and refusing all contact on the basis of this diagnosis is only going to escalate the potential for harm in most cases.

More appropriate is how to treat an N.
Number one recommendation: Get them out of your life! Keep away!   The question should be is what is the treatment for the victim/survivor of a narcissistic relationship. N's never change, they are hopeless. It does not matter if they attend counselling, self help etc, they enjoy too many rewards of making life miserable for those around them. I would say they lack human qualities and therefore should be avoided at all costs. The best thing to do is ignore them. Do not give them any attention. if you run into them in public say hello, but keep it at hello, do not engage in any conversation. These types are forever inventing and testing new methods to manipulate and control those around them. They lack all sincerity and are vampires. Stay away from them.   There is no treatment for Narcissists. It's PERMANENT PATHOLOGY. Get away as soon as you can.
No bona fide psychiatric association, psychiatrist, psychologist or anyone with appropriate credentials will tell you Narcissism can be cures in ANY WAY. Beware snake oil salesmen.   "Asked if he thinks there will ever be a cure for psychopathy or narcissism -- a drug, an operation -- Dr. Hare steps back and examines the question.

"The pathological will say 'A cure for what?' I don't feel comfortable calling it a disease. Much of their behaviour, even the neurobiological patterns we observe, could be because they're using different strategies to get around the world. These strategies don't have to involve faulty wiring, just different wiring."

On Internet message boards, people claiming involvement with narcissists ask, "Must I leave him?"

Whenever I hear this question, I get two ambivalent urges at once. One is to reply, "Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!" And the other is to reply, "What the heck kind of question is that?"

Notice that the grown children of narcissists don't ask it. The mates of narcissists do.

Typically, when adults realize that a parent who troubles them is a malignant narcissist, they react to discovering that the relationship never was a mutual symbiosis, but rather a parasitic one in disguise. Their words convey a deep sense of betrayal. And relief - in the knowledge that it wasn't their fault, that something is wrong with their parent, not them. In their words it goes without saying that they will break this hostile and predatory relationship that is so hurtful and harmful to them.

So, what's with the mates of narcissists? Often the thrust of their reaction is complaint about how wronged they are. Then they ask, "Must I leave him?"

To some extent, this difference is to be expected, because the relationship between parent and child is different than the relationship between lovers. And it is much older - a lifelong, virtually unbreakable relationship of blood, not a mere recent contract like marriage. We can expect the children of narcissists to take some things for granted about them that the mates of narcissists find hard to accept. Yet, there is the same abysmal betrayal in both experiences. And the same liberating justification. So, why do the reactions of many mates seem so peculiar to the children? Why do they often lack reaction to that betrayal and liberation?

1. some are numb and have not yet realized their parent was N (remember Ns raise their children to tolerate and accept their behaviors as NORMAL)

2. MANY have instituted no contact
All the ones I have encountered on ACON message boards are filled with RAGE! They react and BIG TIME. But to compare leaving a partner to a CHILD leaving a Parent is apples & oranges. To say they lack reaction is a complete misstatement. The rage of most ACONS is great, even after the N parent dies.  ANSWER Many belive that the only treatment for narcissism is rejection of the narcissists. What they don't realize is that narcissists come in a variety. Their isn't just an extreme. Many have a minor case and don't just use their spouse or children. Alot of the time they really do care for their loved ones. Don't abandon them. They need support.
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