What is wrong with mothers?

Answer 1

This is a very broad question, though a lack of inner security is responsible for many undesirable things. A major problem is that many women never really wanted to be mothers. They were still quite immature, maybe thought that the world owed them pleasure, and fell right into a sexual relationship. Perhaps they were estranged from their own mothers or not really nurtured growing up themselves. So they end up with a child they don't know how to raise. In some cases, the parents want a child, but they see the child as an extension of themselves or as a means to bring them pleasure. Oftentimes, parents will think in terms of what the child will do for them, such as bring them the approval of others in the community.

There are other types of problem patterns, such as being an overbearing or smothering mother. Such women may think of the world in a negative light and unconsciously see themselves as saviors. So they are attracted to "broken" partners (bad if there are children involved) or look for flaws in their children, even imaginary ones, so they can get a pat on the back (which never comes). They may see this as love, when it is really a thirst to be needed.

Overly permissive parenting is another problem. Perhaps the parents felt unloved or abused growing up, so they vow never to be harsh with their own children. Ironically, such an attitude can lead to abuse since proper discipline is lacking, frustration develops, and then emotions take over in the parents. But even if it doesn't get to that point, it could create a child who feels they can do nothing wrong, and they can intimidate, bully, or be mean, and nothing will happen.

But do keep in mind that all of this is meant with due respect, and no judgment is intended. If any of this seems familiar, you should start by forgiving yourself and showing yourself compassion, and then work on any insecurities, codependency, substance abuse, or whatever.