Why can't i get over my narcissist?

Answer 1

I know that the reasons why I find it difficult to get over my narcisist is that I am attempting see myself again as a beautiful attractive sexy woman whose natural instinct is to connect 'sexually' and 'intimately' with a man - I can only verbalise this now because it just went without saying before I met this narcisist. The narcisist sees a beautiful woman and leeches her beauty from her because he thinks he is seeing 'himself' - he wants to possess it and is insanely jealous of it too. He does not see that this beauty and sexuality needs to be nurtured and admired and appreciated for it to survive. He just kills it with his constant whining and self riteousness and domination until the woman's feminity dies - she becomes 'nothing' . This is the real projection from a narcisist - he is 'nothing' and he projects this onto a beautiful woman until she becomes the same - this is when they have no problem 'dumping' and moving on. Their 'food' is gone.

I cannot get over the fact that he did not nurture my beauty and sexuality and because of this he lost out on true and tremendous love and life. So did I. Why the hell would anybody want to do this? why would anyone want to kill someone elses soul and life force? When somebody does this - they kill themselves as well. Why would anybody want to exhaust somebody sense of youthfulness and fun and sexiness- it does not make sense. I know that my sexiness and attractiveness is miminised and damaged now - I still 'look' attractive but I am afraid to 'feel' attractive again. When I start to try to look after myself and give myself my fun back I get tremendous flash backs from the relatinship with him and I am afraid if I become whole again I will allow him to take it all away from me again. It is like a vicious circle