If you live in the U.S., each state has its own laws on what happens to the property of those who die without a will. They may be titled "descent and distribution" or some similar name in your state's code. In most places, property will go to the surviving spouse. If there is no spouse, the it will be divided among any surviving children. If there is are no children or spouse left, the property goes further up the family tree to the deceased person's parents or siblings. Check your state's laws.
You will have to look at the agreement with the nursing home. In most cases it is laid out very specifically.
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No, you would take your share of his estate, which already includes hers.
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dads, definately dads.
You cannot avoid probate unless the property was owned by you and your father as joint tenants with the right of survivorship. That type of ownership provides that when one tenant dies their interest in the real estate passes automatically to the surviving joint tenant and bypasses probate. Otherwise, when a person dies owning real estate, the estate must be probated in order for title to the property to pass to the heirs legally.
The 401k passes intact to his heirs, with the same penalties if they are not of age (59 1.2) to withdraw it as cash. He can allocate it to specific beneficiaries or describe the distribution in his will.
his dads
The executor controls access to the assets of the condo. To preserve the assets, they can keep others off the property.