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It's most common among children who are taught that rules do not apply to them. If a parent tells a child to not steal then the child sees the parent steal, the child is taught that that particular rule does not apply. A child needs the guidance of both parents. The mother is there so that the child can learn love unconditionally. The father is there so that the child can learn that certain behaviors are just not tolerated. It is true that both parents should love and both parents should discipline, but the mother is there to help the child learn self-respect and confidence. The father is there to teach that not everybody will forgive everything that you do. The father should represent the law of society. The mother teaches forgivness. The child needs to recognize that there is a place for both, but that he/she will not always be given a free pass when unacceptable behavior is encountered. Many fathers are just not there. Many fathers who ARE there have never learned how to teach their children respect for common courtesy or the laws of society. Many mothers have never learned to love and as such can never teach their children to love. Is it any wonder that some people grow up to have serious problems with interpersonal relations. All theory aside, I believe that a responsible adult with good parenting skills who is consistent and loving can raise a child successfully alone. You don't need two people to teach both love and discipline. All you need is to have these things straight in your head and to show respect to yourself, your child and others. Parents who tell their child that the rules don't apply, even if they only insinuate it, are doing their child a disservice. Yes, it probably does contribute to Narcissism, but so do a lot of factors. The narcissist I knew was definitely told by his mother 20 times a day that this rule or that rule didn't apply to him. However he also had a narcissist father and an abusive and neglectful childhood, so it takes more than just permissive parenting to create a narcissist. It sort of has to be the perfect storm, if you know what I mean. And by the way, in a successful parenting couple, both parents take on both roles--love and discipline--and back each other up. What a horrible world it would be if our fathers only existed to let us know that some people wouldn't forgive us or to stop us from getting a free pass. What a sad world that would be.

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โˆ™ 2006-04-24 07:49:52
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Q: Can narcissism be caused by smother love or loving a child too much and not teaching a child to give and take?
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