Could your ex-abuser really be your soulmate or are you crazy for even thinking this?

Answer 1

Some victims bond with their abusers in what is known as "trauma bonding".

you are crazy. to think he could be a soul mate. a soul mate is a helper. an ex that is an abuser is probably in your life to help you get to the point where you will not need to repeat this cycle. a soul mate might not even be someone you hook up with permenately.

I don't think you are crazy. People can change if they really desire to do so. I personally have been emotionally abusive in my past relationships, which is why I am here. But I am seeing a therapist, and acknowledge the mistakes I have made. I am finally getting over the guilt of how badly I have treated my ex, and am finally beginning to believe that I am worthy of having a healthy relationship. If someone that you loved in the past has seeked help, and is trying to change so that they can treat others with the respect they deserve, do they not deserve a second chance? Maybe I am just hopeful for myself, but people can change. Perhaps I am crazy, but I am going to give him his space now and try to fix me, and maybe I will give him a call in a few months to slowly get to know each other again. I sincerely hope that he won't think it's crazy to believe that I turned myself around.

Your ex- abuser could be your soul mate only & I repeat only if he is actively in therapygetting treated and he or she has fully admitted & acknowledged that there is something wrong with them. If they don't show complete improvement they could be fakingit. Some abusers say they will go get help but they are just doing it so you can get off their backs and you will leave them alone and that is not sincere. The victim needs not to be fooled.

No, I don't think its crazy. In fact, after four years of deep emotional involvement with someone with NPD (who is not physically abusive) I am inclined to think the opposite - that abusive relationships are possibly the deepest sort of soul mate one could have. Why? Two reasons: first, such a relationship quite likely has its roots in a past life connection - hence the intensity. There are lessons that must be learnt, and the only way they will be learnt is if it is extremely difficult to walk away from the relationship. I have found that in my relationship my whole concept of myself has broadened and changed -also my understanding of human nature - especially its dark side, masculine and feminine within myself, and particularly my own shadow. I am also much stronger emotionally, and I have overcome many fears - although I have only been able to do this with the help of good and wise friends and good literature (eg Sam Vaknin and others), and the fact that I have had plenty of space in the relationship due to factors out of the control of the abuser. There is a great deal of love between us which serves to force us to slowly wake up to ourselves, making changes, and developing a little of that very old-fashioned quality: unconditional love. One must above all face and examine one's own vulnerability - its nature origins, and also work to proteect oneself. I have been fortunate in that I have been able to incorpotate my experiences into my spiritual path.

You know reading the answers to this questions makes me a little confuse because I, myself have been in a abusive relationship and I ask myself was/ or is he my soulmate even after what we have gone through. The difference is that he hasn't seeked any type of help and is trying to cover it up. Do I love him still? Yes, very much so, but I don't think he will change. I wish he would get some help because besides this, he has good ways about him. It's hard especially when you have given this person your all and that is what I did with him. We shared a lot. I am confuse as well and deep down don't think he will change. Do I think that your abuser is your soul mate???? Well, if he seek help and commits to it then maybe, but if he just keep doing it to you and then saying, "Sorry", then NO!!! He is not the one for you at all.

"Could your ex-abuser really be your soulmate or are you crazy for even thinking this?"

It depends on the circumstances.