Some brief humor :
(see related link)
Bar
One day two people walked into a bar... then a third one said "That must have hurt."
Animals
How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open it and put the giraffe inside.
How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? You open it, take out the giraffe, and put the elephant in.
The Lion King throws a party, and all animals are invited. But one didn't come. Who was it? The elephant, he was in the refrigerator.
You need to get across a river home to millions of crocodiles. How do you get across? Just swim, the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party.
The Atoms Joke
Two atoms walk into a bar. One atom says "I think I lost an electron". The other replies "Are you sure"? To which the first atom says, "I'm positive!"
The Cursing Priest
A priest and a rabbi went to play golf. The priest misses a shot, and says, "S**t, I missed!" The rabbi says, "Don't curse or God will punish you." Later on, the priest misses again, and says, "S**t, I missed!" Again the rabbi warns him, "Don't curse, or God is going to punish you." Finally, the priest misses a short putt and says, "S**t, I missed!" Suddenly, the sky grows menacingly dark and with a tremendous clap of thunder, a huge bolt of lightning stabs down...and kills the rabbi! A loud voice echoes out from the clouds as God says, "S**t, I missed!"
Coke Machine
It was a hot day in Las Vegas, and this blonde walked up to the Coke machine. She put her money in, and a Coke came out. She stood there for five minutes, putting her money in and getting Cokes.
Since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
Swimming Blonde
A blonde and a brunette were stranded on an island. The brunette decided she was going to swim home, but the swim home was 100 miles. The brunette swam one mile, got tired, and swam back. Then the blonde tried. The blonde swam 99 miles, then she got tired, too...so she swam the 99 miles back to the island.
Banana
Why did the banana go to the doctor? "He wasn't peeling very well."
Three guys on a cliff joke
There are three guys on a cliff : an American, an Asian, and a Nazi. They wanted to see how high up they were, so they each threw something down. The American threw a flagpole, the Asian threw rice, and the Nazi threw a grenade. When they came down from the mountain, the American saw a man crying. The American asked "Why are you crying?" The man replied "A flagpole hit my wife!" The American apologized and left. The Asian saw a little boy crying and he asked "Little boy, why are you crying?" The boy said "I looked up and rice fell in my eye!" So the Asian apologized and left. Lastly, the Nazi saw a boy laughing uncontrollably. He asked the boy "Why are you laughing?" The boy replied "I farted and my house blew up!"
Tarzan, Boy, and Jane
Tarzan saw a herd of elephants coming. What did he say? - He said "Here come the elephants."
Boy saw a herd of elephants coming. What did he say? - He said "Here come the elephants."
Jane saw a herd of elephants coming. What did she say? - She said "Here come the bluebirds." (she was color-blind)
knock knock
who there
boo
boo who
sorry i didnt mean to make you cry.
knock knock
whos there
ash
ash who
Oops you sneezed.
How do you ask a dino out for lunch?
Tea,Rex?
What do you call when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannasaurus WRECKS!
* Yo momma so stupid that she thought the Super Bowl was a giant cereal bowl. * Yo momma so Fat that her blood type is Ragu. * Yo momma so Fat that when she went to school, she sat by everybody. * Yo momma so Ugly that when people see her they say "Nice day, sir,"
So this duck walks in a bar and asks "Can I have some grapes?"
She bartender says "No, go away."
So the duck walks out.
The next day, the duck comes back and asks "Can I have some grapes?"
The bartender, annoyed now, says "If I didn't have any yesterday, why would I now? Go away."
So the duck walks out.
The next day, the duck walks in, and does it again. The bartender gets really mad and says "If you ask that one more time, I'll nail your feet to the floor."
So the duck walks out.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks " Do you have a hammer?"
Bartender says "No."
Duck asks "Do you have any nails?"
Bartender says again "No. Go away, duck."
And the duck says "Do you have any grapes?"
knock knock
who is there
will you remember me in a hour
yes
will you remember me in a day
yes
will you remember me in a week
yes
knock knock
who is there
see you already forgot me
Q: what do you get when you cross a webkinz with a penguin? A: a *fires laser*
Everyone knows some jokes or riddles.
Yes
there are rivers but no fish,forests but no trees,streets but no houses,
what am i?
Answer:A Map
What goes up and down but doesn't move?ANSWER: Stairs
knock knockl ? who's there. Oats Oats Who OATS
Jokes do not have to be funny. But if they are not funny, they are not really jokes! There are bad jokes and there are good jokes. Good jokes are better. Bad jokes can be embarrassing........It would be interesting if someone could tell us what makes something funny, but there not be an answer to that. You just have to know it when you see it, I guess!
Some people think it is funny but not for some some people that like dirty jokes are the one who say swear words and have the dirty stuff with females su dont get intrasted in those jokes
Here is a good Mario knock knock joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? Yoshi. Yoshi who? Yo! She won't let me in.
Inside jokes are personal jokes between friends that only those people can understand.
Since jokes are subjective and jokes only if you think they are, I can only provide what amuses me: The joke's on you.
The oldest
Some good family friendly jokes in Hindi can be found on many different websites online. A couple of those websites are Jokes Duniya and Waffa. Some of the jokes are called Jokes in Hindi, Pathan Joke Zabardast and Bond Meets a Tamil Guy.
Goodjokes.com jokes.com funnyjokes.com anitjokes.com google.com, then type in jokes
Don't seat on me
Did you eat the baby
I'm an orange!
funny jokes in the app section through your smart phone
You can find some good hospital jokes online at Great Clean Jokes. One hospital joke is " What's the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital? At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out."
There are several websites that good chemistry jokes can be obtained from. Among them are About, Jupiter Scientific, Jokes 4 Us, Angelo, and Chemical Forums.
Make me a sandwich.