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Does the following make sense After a little way you collapse panting but not drawing in much breath despite?
Fran98
Not really. It needs punctuation and some of the words seem to be in the wrong place. Maybe this would sound better:" After a little way, despite not drawing in much breath, you collapse, panting." OR "But despite not drawing in much breath, after a little way, panting, you collapse."
Another variation: After a little way, you collapse panting but not drawing in much breath, despite the effort.
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∙ 12y ago
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