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To determine which Freemason is turning on the lights in your house, please take the following steps:

1. Determine whether a Freemason is living with you in your house. Do this by asking them the following encoded question: "Are you a Freemason?".

2. Make an inventory of the Freemasons who are not residents of your house, but to whom you've given keys. This would be a good place to start, as Freemasons are expressly forbidden to commit the felony of breaking and entering a person's home. Just as a vampire must be invited into your home, a Freemason cannot enter unless you've given them permission to do so.

3. Examine your bank account to determine whether you have withdrawn monies and sent them to a Lodge of Freemasons. If you see such regular activity you've likely paid what Freemasons secretly refer to as "dues", and therefore you yourself may be the Freemason who is turning on the lights in your house.

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Q: Freemasons who turns on the lights in my house?
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