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How can someone say they love someone and want to be with them in the future but then allow themselves to mingle and invest romantically in others Am I missing something Does she truly want to be with me, or am I a back up plan to fall back on?
Hi, I want to preface my situation before the question, so please, if you are someone who can take the time to read this and provide some answers, please do. My best friend and I dated a long while back, and our reason for breaking up was because she needed time to focus on herself and couldn't do it with me as her boyfriend. We agreed to stay friends and after some time she decides to open herself to other potential relationships romantically. Now I supported her decision as her friend, gave her advice when she asked for it and things were going great! However, one day she let her boyfriend at that time tell her "it's wrong to be friends with your ex" and she reluctantly stopped being my friend for him rather than defend our friendship. She didn't attempt to explain to him that (what I assume every healthy relationship should) he needs to trust her. Fast forward 6 months or so, without hearing one word from her she calls me asking if she still had a best friend. Now, I love this girl with all my heart, there's not a day that goes by where I stop loving her. She's everything I've ever needed/wanted in a lifetime partner and we work so well together. So of course she still had her best friend, I welcomed her back with open arms and she told me how much she regrets leaving me and letting him manipulate her and that she would never do that again. Now we've been going strong for a good year as friends again, and recently she's been slowly catching feelings for me again and she will realize from time to time things about us that make her feel happy, safe, and loved. She tells me she loves me and has never stopped loving me, that even in those 6 months she thought of me a lot. I'm at this point in my life where I would love it if she and I got back together and this time stayed together. She's expressed to me that she would be happy with me, and that she sees me as her husband and the father of our potential kids (if it were to happen). However, this is my issue, she tells me how happy she is around me, and how special I am to her, she even tells me how much she loves me and that she wants to be with me, but she's messing around with other guys, which as her friend I support, that is ultimately her choice. When I ask her, she tells me she "wants to get her mistakes out now rather than make them in a relationship with me later." I appreciate the honesty, but still, I'm confused.
Josiah McThompson
wow...thats a lot to take in honestly but I understand where ur coming from. to be a close friend to someone u love and care about especially when its ur ex doesn't happen everyday. there seems to be a lot of mixed emotions going on and yes, that could lead to confusion. if ur ex want u back because she sees something in u...then yah u must be special. going around and doing stuff with other guys seems a bit weird in my opinion. I'm just saying this because if she someday wants to date u again then she should be spending the most time with you and not other people. I've always thought that the best way to find out something is by asking questions and telling someone how u really feel so if ur still confused and lost, u should ask her. trust is an important key role in a relationship so without it, everything will fall apart.
UnKnowN
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