How can I feel better when I'm ugly flat chested no butt and while I know looks aren't all that matter I envy other girls who are A LOT hotter than me?

Answer 1

I'm 24, and I've been a small A-cup and skinny my whole life. I barely started growing breasts until I was like 16 or 18! I felt embarrassed about it sometimes, and envied girls who had bigger boobs or a curvier body. Most of my close friends were D or C cups. But i learned that a lot of those girls didn't feel good about themselves either. It was either their looks or the way boys treated them or their grades. Something was making all of us feel bad about ourselves.

But then I realized that it is *confidence* that is attractive in a person. Not just their looks. Think about it. Have you ever saw someone that you thought was simply gorgeous and as soon as you talked to them, they said something rude, or negative? And suddenly, you think that person isn't so attractive any more?

Absolutely no matter what you look like, no one can touch you or make fun of you if you have confidence (even if you don't always feel it in the moment you can fake it for a minute until you feel better). People look to each other for hints about how to act in certain situations. If as young girls, we see our classmates wearing low cut shirts and tight jeans, we might do it too, just because we're not sure about how to dress or act to make ourselves feel good. But if there's a girl who doesn't wear clothes like that, and who doesn't have a super-model body and still laughs and smiles and clearly feels good in her own skin, then suddenly people think, "hmm...what's up with her? maybe I should dress like that too?" (Even though the clothes have little to do with it. People are just drawn to the confidence and good energy radiating off of you)

Because we all want to feel good about ourselves, and even the girls you think are so "hot".. I assure you, they don't feel good about themselves all the time.

Pretty soon (around 16 years old) I started understanding this social phenomenon. And I just decided to be myself, because everyone else was just following each other in school. I thought to myself, "I have no boobs. Well, am I going to pay thousands of dollars and pain to get a boob job? Nope! So I better learn to love it and live with it." and the same for my other insecurities... "I have a big nose. Well, am I gonna pay a ton of money and go thru pain to get a nose job? Hell no. So I better learn to love it and live with it" and, "My legs are so hairy. It's worse than a boy. Well, can I change it? Am I gonna spend the money to get laser hair surgery? Yeah, right. So I better learn to love it and live with it." and the insecurities just kept getting sillier and sillier... "I am so pale. I can't tan, I just get red and burnt. Well, am I just gonna complain about it, or should I spend a ton of money tanning and possibly getting cancer? No way. neither of those things... I better learn to love it and live with it."

Work with what you've got and OWN IT! If someone says something about your looks, you just say, "Yeah, that's right. So what." It's that confidence that people can't mess with. Even if you're scared to speak out like that... think of someone else who has confidence that you admire, and pick out parts of their behavior that you like, and practice it.