How can an adopted 17-year-old find their biological parents without anyone knowing?
Before I give you the added information to help locate your biological parents there are certain things you should know. Congress is trying to pass a bill so adoptive records are opened should an adopted child wish to find out who their biological parents are. It's most important to realize that you weren't "given away" because your mother or father didn't love you, but there are many reasons ... being too young. You are 17 years old so how would you handle it if you suddenly became a parent? Most adoptive parents who, because they wanted a child so much have a special love often far beyond that of the biological parents. The first thing you must do is start discussing this matter with your adoptive parents. They are there for you to support you, love you and they knew this time would come when you would want to know. You aren't going to hurt their feelings one bit! It's understandable that some adoptive teens feel a void because they need to know why their parents gave them up and part of it is curiousity to see who they are and what they do for a living. Most families have a case worker or a social worker when a child is adopted. That is a good place to start. If you aren't living with your parents at this time you can talk to other relatives in the family or a youth minister at a church, short of a lawyer (which would cost a lot of money.) Over 60,000 Americans are searching for their birth parents. Here is someone you can contact to help: firstname.lastname@example.org SEARCHING: HOW IS IT DONE? You can use registries, working with confidential intermediariers (such a case workers, hospitals, lawyers, etc.) Most states in which adoption records are sealed will allow adoptees to petition the court to receive identifying information. The court requires "good cause" before unsealing records; good cause can include compelling medical reasons (it's important that adoptive children know their genetic make-up or other illness' either parent may have had and thus, the search is on for adoptees finding their biological parents.) It was a mistake when adoption agencies didn't take down as much medical history from at the least the mother and that information was passed onto the adoptive parents for future reference. Several states use an affidavit system in which parties can place prior written consent for release of identifying information in the adoption file. It is important for adoptees, once they become adults (AND YOU ARE NOT YET, THUS THE COOPERATION OF YOUR PARENTS) to go back and place such an affidavit in their file, if they are willing to be found by their birth parents. If they do not, and they are in a state that requires mutual consent, their birth parents could be trying to contact them, but not be able to because the file did not contain affidavits from all parties. NOTE FROM MARCY: It is most important that firstly, your parents love you with all their heart and they will go to the ends of the earth to help you. Sit down, talk to them. You need them to go through the legal process of getting some information because your are under-age. You also must realize that in most cases giving up a child for adoption is a painful experience for especially the birth mother and she may feel frightened, ashamed or guilty, so even if you do find your birth mother (and hopefully your father) she may not want to meet with you. Some do and hopefully this will be the case. NEVER consider yourself as not important in anyway. You are special and if you think about it, your adoptive parents picked you! They didn't have too, but they did because they wanted a son very badly and they got you! They certainly don't expect you to be perfect! YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS AT HOME? It's normal at your age (you're a typical teenager) to have disagreements and arguments with your adoptive parents. THIS DOES NOT indicate they do not love you and, in fact, when parents set down rules that's showing their children they do love them and want to keep them safe and teach them to be independent, confident before they step out into the world on their own. These actions by your adoptive parents would be no different then if you were living with your biological parents. I wish you the very best of luck and if we can help on this board again please repost. If you manage to find your biological parents it would be appreciated if you could post and tell us about your experiences because you will be helping other teenagers get a good start on locating their biological parents. God bless Marcy (TALK TO YOU ADOPTIVE PARENTS!) she can get done on the news paper. by that I mean you can go to the newspapers pay a fair ammount of money and then make them write what it is that you want. to avoid being known by your neighborhood change name and make it known the name is changed. * It would be very difficult for a minor to find such information. A newspaper cannot accept a personal ad from an underage person. The best option is for the minor to wait until he or she has reached the legal age of majority (18 in all US states exept Nebraska where it is 19) they will then have legal options and other resources available to search for biological parents. All adoptions are recorded in archives of the government. I'm Canadian so don't know where in the U.S. you would go, but at least I started this post in the right direction and hopefully someone can give you more information. Meanwhile, I'll do some research for you.