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Time. Trust is earned and it is twice as hard to earn back after every time it is lost. He will just have to prove through everyday actions that he is worthy of trust. There is no reason to feel badly about not trusting an alcoholic parent. Like as not he has proven himself untrustworthy and that is why the trust was lost. It will be easier to trust small things and eventually you may trust him completely. Although it will not be in the same way you did as a child. You have now seen how human he is and that can be a huge blow. Remember that he is human and will make a few mistakes. And try not to hold onto any hostility it can keep you from feeling close enough to trust.

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if they havnt stopped drinking, its unlikely they will be reliable and trustworthy,

i was only able to trust my dad after he stopped drinking, because he was a horrible person, very unreliable, he even took my money to get drunk with, and this was one of the lighter things he did.

no matter how much you love them and want to trust them, alcohol causes them to change as a person, no matter what they are like with out it, when they are with it, they are usually so drunk they dont care what they are like, only you do, they dont care how you feel, only you do,

they usually feel sorry for themselves and that keeps them perpetuating the cycle, and you will always end up being let down by them.

its not worth trusting someone who is going to throw it back in your face over and over instead of giving you the respect you deserve and changing their ways.

if however they have stopped drinking and you want to know how to trust them now, time , as the above poster said,

i forgave my dad for a lot of horrible things after i seen him change and try to better himself but you have to see it first,

also my dad actually apologized to me, something he has never been able to do is say sorry, that for me was the biggest changing point,

i hadnt talked to him in 3 years and when he sent me a card saying 'sorry can we forget the past', i cried, and i gave him a chance to show me he was sorry and not just saying it, and we have talked ever since.

you should not feel pressured to forgive them and trust them right away, they did a lot of things that you need time to heal and seeing them change helps that, they do have to earn the trust again.

just like when making a new friend, its a new start and you dont trust someone you dont know well straight away and especially you dont straight away trust people who have let you down repeatedly, nor should you.

theres not much you yoursef can do but wait and see and give them the chance to prove themselves,

and its a slow process you cant trust them because they do or say one thing, you then wait and see what happens after that.

hope you find they are changing.good luck

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Q: How can an adult ever learn to trust an alcoholic parent?
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