That is part of the control mechanism abusers have over their victims; making them feel as if they useless, trapped and are good for nothing. It's not true! Get mad! Realize this person is using "mind altering effects" on you. They don't realize it, but they are. Also realize the "abuser." These people have either come from an abused family environment or they are just plain mean to the bone. Whether the person physically or verbally abuses they do so to their mate because they know they can't get away with it out in society. They are actually weak in themselves and IT'S THEM that has the low self esteem. They feel they are "put upon" by society and that they never get a break out there. They will never take responsibility for their own actions and always blame others. In the privacy of one's home it is so easy for an abuser to manipulate not only his girlfriend/wife or kids, it's just plain fair game. This is what you have to do: Without him knowing it, you are going to have pack your bags and hide them. Then go to a friends (one you can trust) or a family member, and phone the "Women's Abuse Center." If you can't find that number then phone your local "Mental Health" and they will lead you into the right direction. I hope, this is what you want and that once you leave this person you won't want to go back. Of course it is going to be scary for the first few months, but trust me, there are so many people such as yourself and so much help out there. There is group therapy sessions, they also will go to court with you if you want free legal help to get a "cease and desist order" against the abuser and you have your rights to half of everything you both have together even if you live common-law. Be strong! Know you weren't at fault. When we meet someone we don't know them 100% and they can be sweet as pie at the beginning, but once you live with them or marry them they can change almost over-night. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but, you are letting yourself down badly if you don't use all the strength you can muster up and get out of there. Pack that bag, phone that Women's Abuse Center and get out of there! Don't ever look back, and don't feel guilty. Good luck Marcy
The abused adult in your life has psychological issues. Your mother may have been abused herself when she was younger- This needs attention immediately -you never stated your age. This will cause damage to your self esteem as other issues. You need counseling right away along with your mother. Consult with a guidance counselor in your school for help on where to go in your area for professional counseling.
Yes, this can really deteriorate your self-esteem. You should talk to someone about your abuse and get help from a specialist. Things will look brighter in the future. You can report the person who abused you and get the person locked up as the person deserves. It is very hard to get over something like this but you need to get out there and meet someone.
I don't know a lot about the exact percentage, but think about it. Abusive consists of physically and verbally. I have been in an abusive relationship, and it took me over a year to get out of it. He wouldn't let me break up with him, he threatened to kill himself and he constantly yelled and threatened me. Imagine every other relationship.
Sibling rivalry can either hurt or help your self-esteem. If you are rivals over everything then someone is going to come out on top and that will help their self-esteem but it will hurt the other person's because they will be constantly losing. It is good to compete but remember that at the end of the day you are still family.
That is part of the cycle that needs to be broken by you. You don't believe in yourself and have no self confidence or self esteem. You believe you deserve that kind of treatment...but you do not. Please find family and friends to talk to and get the positive reassurance you need right now. Whatever you do, don't go back. It won't get better. God Bless you Sometimes, being abused is habit and dependence forming and responds to deepset emotional needs of the victim.
I can only speak for myself. I was verbally and emotionally abused and it left me with years of low self-esteem and shyness to try to get over. After years of trying to build up my self-esteem, I still revert to feeling bad about myself, on occasions. I look back over my life and always wonder what it would have been like if my childhood would have been different. Would I still be married? How could my mother really love me and still be abusive to me? I realize she had her emotional problems, but, I have also had mine as a result of hers, yet I always let my children know how much I love them and always supported their needs, trying never to get them know about my own personal problems.
It's hard for a woman to get over a verbally abusive man because the abuse was directed at her self-esteem and self-confidence rather than her physically. People look at a woman who's been physically abused and they can obviously see the injuries caused by the abuse, but with verbal abuse it's different because no one can see that you've been continuously that you're ugly, stupid, not worth the time of day, no one will ever love you and that the abuser is all you deserve. You believe it. You end up feeling so degraded that you can hardly function because it's all you've been told by someone who says they love you. To heal from verbal abuse a woman has to first get away from the abuser which is hard, then seek counseling where she can gain her self-esteem and self-confidence back. Then she must realize what was it that made her susceptible to an abuser in the first place. It takes years for a woman who has been abused to fully heal, but more so with psychological and verbal abuse because they are directed at the woman's mind and she begins to doubt herself. Only about 1 out of 2000 women abused are abused in just one form.
Self-esteem has a lot to do with everything. Low self-esteem can damage your relationship because you are too nervous, and believe you ar not worthy of him/her. That person could think you are not interested. Take it from some one who knows. High self-esteem is confidence in the way you look, act, and feel about yourself.
I believe that they do it because they want to feel powerful and in control. A verbally abusive person has poor self esteem and abusing someone makes them feel superior. Anyone that abuses you for no reason does not love you. I have only been married three years but my husband has never said a bad word to me in his life.
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