How can you relieve yourself from a messed up past?

Answer 1

ANSWER:

Take this answer with an open mind, because if you are defensive, it will not help you. Every decision we make has an an effect on future events and other decisions we will have to make in our future. You and only you are in control of this process. Life is 1 % what happens around you and 99 % how we react to it. If someone is in a bad mood, will you allow them to steal your joy and pass that bad mood along to you? Hopefully not. The same thing applies to how you begin your day. You have the choice to 'decide' if you are going to be in a good mood or a bad mood. This decision will reflect the other decisions and the moods of the people you meet. This also applies to whether you continue to let that something that happened in your past to be a weight like a ball and chain that you feel you need to carry with you possibly for the rest of your life. Some people wear their pain on their sleeve like a badge and show it off to everyone looking for some sympathy but this gets old fast and like the saying goes misery loves company, you will run out of listeners. You have to decide to cut that umbilical cord which still causes you pain. I was told this by a friend. Take a piece of paper, or more as needed and write down what is painful that you want to put in your past. When done, place it in an envelope and seal it. On the outside, write the date of which you have 'sealed' your past behind you. Place it on your mantle, or a place where you can view it in plain sight every day. Know in your mind and heart that what is inside that pandoras envelope as it were, is now in your past and cannot live past the date which you made the conscious decision not to let it effect the rest of your life. You may feel like you are the only person that has gone through this type of thing. You are not alone, believe me. People you meet every day who may not show it are or have gone through similar issues and they either have controlled it, or let it become a controlling factor in their lives. The question for you is which one will you be.

I have a lot of favorite sayings, I collect them in fact. My favorite is: I regret not my past. I live for today. I will make my tomorrows. Broken down it means:

I regret not my past: At no time should anything that you have experienced in your past which may not have ended on a good note should effect your life today other than to know that to experience pain is normal. It teaches us not to do those things again. We were not born as adults. We have to learn through experience. To err is human, and I could be an instructor in that area.

I live for today: This means that at no other point in your life will you experience or be able to experience this moment again, so make the best of it. You can either choose to be happy, sad, angry or many other emotional choices. I Have been through all of them and in a good mood feels the best. Yesterday is history, tomorrow, a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called the present. If you are dwelling on the past, you miss the present.

I will make my tomorrows: If you don't plan your steps, they will be random. If you plan to do nothing tomorrow, the odds are nothing will be done. Get a notebook and paste pictures of items and accomplishments you want like furniture, cars, a house etc. Add to this as often as you wish and also list accomplishments that you have achieved, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you at the time. It can be your journal to refer to when you have doubts about your abilities or want to review your accomplishments and levels of maturity. Ghandi said 'You have to be the change that you want to see in the world.' As a former paremedic, I was blessed to see some people who looked deep in their hearts and found the will to say no to death. Every day, you can die a little or live a little. The choice is yours, and yours alone.

!!!!!!!!...... (Just remember) ....you never know how long you may live your life, so why not make it worth living? There is no point in remebering what happened in the past and upsetting yourself. It happened! and there is nothing in the world that could change the past... ! Think about your future and go for the things you love to do in yourlife .... !!!!!!!!

Answer 2

It is most important to remember that what has been done to you is not your fault or your responsibility; but, what you do with what has been done to you is very much your responsibility.

That being said, it is critical that you examine your past, what you experienced and what you've done. You then need to decide what you will do with it. You have three options:

1. You can decide to dump it off on another person, perhaps someone totally uninvolved with your past, you only pass on the legacy of what was passed on to you; you continue the chain.
2. You can decide to face your past, attempt to make amends, and move forward, learning from what came before.
3. You may also decided to not decide, to keep everything locked up inside, bury all those negative emotions, and keep it out of the light of scrutiny. This though never works. Negativity has a way of invariably leaking out or exploding. When this happens, usually the first option results. By deciding not to decide, the decision is made regardless.

It is not an easy road. People do very nasty things to other people. It is hard to let go, but it is the most important thing you can do. By letting go, you learn to forgive, and--most importantly--forgiveness is not about anyone who has done you wrong so much as the benefit you gain from the act of forgiveness. See, holding onto the hurt, the negative emotions, the pain of the past only feeds it. It is another road to the third option.

Answer 3

There is only one way to overcome your past. You have a wonderful creator who wishes to be your best friend, and if you put your trust in him and ask him to help you, he will. All you have to do is tell him about your past, confess any wrongdoing, and ask him to help you do what is good. This will certainly help!