How can you resist the urge to get even with your ex narcissist?

Answer 1

you may be able to payback someone but once they got something from you you can never get "even" since you already lost what you lost. The best thing to do at this point is say screw it and forget about it. Fix a tall one and kick back. trying to get even will only make you look unbecoming to him. be strong and cry all you want alone, but don't let him know the torturous pain he has caused. I was involved with a true N for 2 marriages, yes I gave it my all with the same N.twice. When he has called, I asked him why he calls me, and he says because you are so healthy emotionally. He has done enough damage to my heart to last a few lifetimes, but I always appeared strong. never called him. He was married once before I married him, and when that ended, his ex tried the revenge thing, and he never called her and says he can't stand her. He has said to me that he has such a tender place in his heart for me. He may not really mean it,but he said it, and there may be some respect there. Of course, not on my part. my ex N has no idea what I have been through because of his cruel actions. I will keep it that way. I have a saying on my fridge (when I get angry at someone and feel I want to get even) and it says "IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE THE PERSON THEN THEY STILL CONTROL YOU!" That is so true! I live by this rule and simply move on. I know if I try to get even I'm scraping the same bottom of the barrel as they are in and I don't want to let myself down. These type of people hang themselves without anyone's help and here's another quote I have lived long enough to see come into action "THE HEAD OF THE SNAKE WILL TURN AROUND AND BITE YOU IN THE BUTT!" Meaning those who do dirt to others will get theirs 10 fold. Trust me, they do! I was married before to a cheater and physical/mental abuser and got out of my marriage after 3 1/2 years. I just wanted freedom and to get rid of him. Finally I accomplished it. I learned later from one of his brothers that although he had married one of his mistress' he never got over me and really wanted me back (I wouldn't have taken him back if he'd had thousand dollar bills pinned to his hide) and his brother talked him out of it simply because he didn't feel his brother deserved me and there was no hope my ex would ever really change. I got the satisfaction that indeed the head of the snake had bitten him on the butt! LOL Get busy! Get out there with friends and laugh like you've never laughed before. Live like you are going to die tomorrow and enjoy those around you. One day you will meet someone like I did that will love you with all of their heart and you'll know that feeling when it comes along. I've been married to my 2nd husband for 34 years and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Good luck! The best way to get back at them is to remove yourself from their lives! Then, they have to find another avenue to get their supply, and abusive needs satisfied. "Now, wasn't that easy?"