How can you tell if you have IBS?

Answer 1

IBS or irritable bowel syndrome is a very serious ailment. Usually you can't tell whether IBS has gotten to you or not. Maybe your stomach makes a gurgle noise or more of a mumbbly bumbbly bumbbly sound, but you're in for a world of hurt. You may have to lie down for a bit, maybe steady your legs, but the second you feel okay and attempt to stand, you'll be back in bed holding your gut like you just got knife-wrenched. Next, you'll find yourself with your best friend toilet bowl. Get to know him, you'll be together a while. As you feel the "pressure" building and begin passing towards the back, you may need a wet towel or at least a hand gun if you're one of the weak ones that can't take the sh*t storm you await. When you hear an explosion, you'll know you're about to start. At first it'll just be smelly liquids pouring out of you, followed by objects you've swallowed, babies you forgot you were pregnant with, and lastly the organs that keep you alive. The kidneys fall out of you very quickly and blast your colon out like an artillery shell kissing a baby bunny. Usually followed by most of your small intestines. At this point you are probably preparing to use that handgun. If you don't, and I advise you do, it's not getting any better. IBS is 3 on my top ten ways to die following drawing and quartering and the 24 hour Tony Danza marathon.