How do I know if I am gay?

Answer 1

Answer 1

You are gay if you are sexually or romantically attracted to the same sex, if you fantasize about the same sex and if you want to live with someone of the same sex for ever.

You will feel a strong attraction to your same gender.

Give it a bit of time, and you will be able to know for sure. Homosexuality is not a bad thing, but it is a very big thing to come to decide overnight.

There are many signs to being gay or straight. you must ask yourself who makes you horny.

There's no ONE answer to this question. Some people claim they knew they were gay from their toddler years. Others spend their entire lives Wrestling with their sexuality. It is perfectly normal for males and females to "experiment" with someone of the same gender at some point in their lives, too, especially in the years surrounding puberty. That, in itself, does not mean you're homosexual. The key, I believe, to KNOWING your sexual preference is Honesty. What FEELS right? To YOU. Not to anyone else. Not to your Parents. Not to your Religious Beliefs. Not to your Friends or your Community. What FEELS right to YOU? Put all the negatives aside. You'll have the rest of your life to come to terms with WHOEVER you are. The first thing to do is be HONEST with yourself. If you aren't sure, honestly not sure, give it time. There is no "window of opportunity" when it comes to sexual development. As long as you stay True to yourself, there will come a time in your life when you'll just KNOW. What you do with that is entirely YOUR journey to make.

If you're just entering puberty, however, it's normal to have sexual fantasies about men and women, so give yourself a year or so to settle.

If when you see someone of the same gender, you feel a slight attraction to them. Or when you talk to them you feel how you would with someone of the opposite gender. Butterflies, smiling, etc.

Usually it is when you begin to fantasize about being in relationships with people of the same sex as you are.

If you are physically attracted to beautiful members of the same sex, and have no attraction to the opposite sex, you are gay.

You are gay if you are sexually or romantically attracted to the same sex.

You are bisexual if you are sexually or romantically attracted to either sex, sometimes at the same time, sometimes at different times.

Definitions...

A homosexual (gay or lesbian) is a person who always, or almost always has sex (or at least fantasies about sex) with other people of the same sex -- men with men, women with women. In some cultures, only the receptive partner is considered homosexual; the "inserter" is considered heterosexual even if their partner is of the same sex. In other cultures, both partners are considered homosexual, regardless of who is "inserting."

A heterosexual (straight) is a person who always, or almost always has sex (or at least fantasies about sex) with people of the opposite sex -- men with women, women with men.

A bisexual (bi) is a person who is comfortable having sex with men or women, or who fantasizes about sex with men and women. Most of the evidence suggests that we are born gay, straight or bisexual. When we're older and we look back at our childhoods, we remember thinking or doing things that line up with our sexual orientation, but during puberty a lot of us weren't sure.

Sexual Orientation...

It can be confusing to know if you are Gay, Bi or Straight when you are still going through puberty. You can start to wonder if you are gay or bi because of thoughts you have had, or things that you do. . Not everyone grows through this period fully aware of their sexual identity. You should not label yourself at this age as it can all change by the time you have grown through and out of puberty.

Sexual urges come in many forms. Being attracted to someone of the same sex is usually a sign that you are gay, but not always. You can have sexual fantasies about people of the same sex or even have sexual experiences (kissing, sex, hugging, dating, etc.) and still be straight. When we are young, sexual orientation is mixed in with all kinds of dynamic and sometimes uncomfortable things that we are dealing with every moment. Many times young persons will have various sexual experiences with people of both genders just as part of the process of growing up. Even people well beyond their 20's will sometimes feel the need to experiment at one time or another. There is no need to seek labels for these experiences, and in fact labels are often more harmful than helpful. As we mature and begin to seek and form important relationships with individuals, the sexual piece gets clearer and clearer.

It's something you feel deep inside. You may not know for a while and be unsure, but it's only something YOU know. No one else can tell you. Either way, listen to your heart and soul and trust that they will lead you in the direction that is right for you.

If you're a boy/girl and have a girl/boyfriend that doesn't necessarily mean you're straight. There is a big difference between curiosity and being sexually attracted. If you are attracted to those of the same sex AND those of the opposite sex then you are most likely bisexual. However, there is a lot of gray area in between gay and straight and you may find that even the term "bisexual" doesn't quite fit you.

Beyond just sex...

Keep in mind who you want to be with in a relationship. Who do you want to marry? Who do you want to grow old with? Most important, who do you love? Can you love a man or a woman? Do you want to be loved by a man or a woman or both? Ultimately, the "plumbing" isn't very important -- it's the ability to love!

Personal experience...

"I'm Bi and I knew it as soon as I saw a guy I liked..... unfortunately that story ends with crying, but..... it is a gut feeling. During your teenage years you have to take whatever that says with a pinch of salt. I admit there will be times when you don't trust yourself, and during this time you will feel bad and even depressed (hope it won't happen to you) but I found (the hard way) that the best thing to do is talk to someone you feel safe that they won't spread the news" before you're ready.

Unfortunately, a lot of us learn that homosexuality and bisexuality are "bad" long before we find out that we are gay or bi. You have to unlearn that, and it can take a long time. Go at your own pace, but keep learning. Keep repeating this over and over until you believe it: "There is nothing wrong with being gay (or lesbian, or bisexual)."

So what should I do?

Enjoy the exploration, have fun and be safe. It's more important to be concerned about learning how to enjoy your friendships and relationships in healthy and mature ways. The sexual part sorts itself out for most of us by the time we make it into our mid-20's or so. Bad news: the same things that cause heterosexual relationships to fail can also cause gay relationships to fail. Good news: the same things that sustain heterosexual relationships can sustain gay relationships.

In many communities, there are resources for gay, lesbian and bisexual teens and young adults. Try contacting a local chapter of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). They will know of good resources in your area. You may also talk to a trusted adult or a professional counselor. (Most licensed professionals will at least be able to recommend resources, even if you don't want to become a client.) You can also ask a librarian for good books about sexual orientation.

If someone says they can "cure" homosexuality, don't trust them. It would be like "curing" brown hair -- you can hide it, but you can't really change it.

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Answer 2

One way that is a pretty good indicator, is to answer what or who do you think about while masturbating ? You are only trying to please yourself and that should tell you a lot. It's not 100% because during puberty, other males may be the only visual images you have to work with. Don't worry about it, you will figure it out at some point and regardless of the answer, you are who you are supposed to be.

Answer 2

You just have to look deep inside yourself and the answer will come sooner or later.

Answer 3

Find out if that gender turns you on