How do Narcissists use giving and receiving of gifts in their quest for power?

Answer 1

They only give to get.

AnswerMy N loves to give gifts but they're always something he likes, without any thought to how the person receiving it might like it. He likes gifts, as long as it's not something he's really been wanting. AnswerI think they give gifts to keep the source of supply going. My ex gave me a lovely present for helping him through his mother's death quite unexpectedly. This, however, was a life crisis which usually tones their behaviour down a bit. But then gave me another one when he was lying about seeing someone else! (I returned it). I also think they can choose material gifts very carefully - they know what you want and they will give it to continue the supply. My ex painted my living room to perfection but this was just before he started having a new woman around. He has never given me anything HE wanted. It's all about attention. AnswerWhen my ex and I separated I had a garnet and diamond bracelet with a special latch on it. It had been bent a little by me. It was lost during the separation when I moved out of the house. He denied having it.Four years later he broke up with a girl he had lived with only 2 months. He immediately came running to me and my supply. That Christmas he gave me a garnet and diamond bracelet. I didn't say anything in front of his mother but I had immediately notied thebent latch and knew it was the one I lost. AnswerI know an N who gave his then girlfriend a $700 necklace after dating/sleeping with for only two months. After he discrded her a few months later, that same necklace was found at walmrt for 29.95 the girl was naive and insisted it was really 700 because he produced a receipt to prove it. sick huh. That receipt could have been for anything and why would he have to produce it for a gift he bought to "prove" it. AnswerWhen it came to gifts, the N I knew only wanted to receive items he truly wanted. If you surprised him with something that didn't interest him, he smirked. Often, he wouldn't even say thank you. When we would "break up" and "get back together" he would make a (sadistic) point of telling me he had gotten rid of everything I had ever given him during our break up. Just trashed it. Little did I know, that's how he would treat me in the end. AnswerMy N uses gifts to make himself appear generous. He always points out how much something cost him or points out that he spent more on gifts than I did. It is yet another tactic to manipulate. He also tells people what he wants for Christmas or birthdays and if you get him something else, he doesn't conceal his disappointment. Answer

My narcissist would send gifts to my house each time I would try to use NC (no contact) The obvious purpose of the gifts was to remind me of him when he knew I was trying to forget him. Each time he would try to get under my skin this way. The last time he finally got me to go back. BIG mistake! It was the same story. Total idealization, 7 days of bliss. Then he went back to where he lives (2,000 miles away, lucky for me) and I haven't heard from him since! Same old cycle. Now I have been devalued and dumped. He used the gifts to weaken my resolve, came in for the kill, sucked my lifeblood and has left me for dead..

I think it was all to prove to himself that he had the power to do this to me.. Well I have been here before and this time it is somehow easier because it just proves and reinforces what I already knew before. It is back to NC, this time forever.. All gifts will be returned unopened.