How do parents discipline a nonverbal learning disorder child with bipolar?

Answer 1

Our son is now 13.

We found the book 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 to be very useful up until the last few months. He argued very eloquently against it, but accepted it.

We have a system of awarding stars (a sheet of paper stick on the wall with stars drawn on) for reinforcing good behaviour. Multiples of 5 stars may be redeemed for one pound. This has worked since he was three and is still used to encourage desired behaviour. Be generous and reward even the slightest indication of good behaviour; don't let it get stale: persist in noticing things to reward. He gets most of his disposable income this way :-)

Physical punishment was worse than useless, unless you need to give an immediate response to life-threatening situations - a slap on the legs for walking out in front of traffic when he was five is the only thing that ever worked as far as I remember. At an early age he showed signs of trying to discipline US with physical punishment, so we desisted.

Shouting just upset everyone.

After 12 - we are just feeling our way. Withholding pocket-money ('allowance' in American) is effective. Distraction with topics of conversation he likes rarely works - he persists in returning to his point of grievance. Calmly sticking to your rules which should be few in number, clear and stated in advance of infringement seems to work. Rigidly sticking to bedtimes helps - he has a bad temper when he is tired and he tires easily during school-days.

It is a long and tiring struggle. Keep your temper, stamp down firmly on unacceptable behaviour, let him know all the time why you are encouraging him or punishing him, don't get into arguments over the limits or interpretation of rules, your word is law and assure him that the European Court of Human Rights is not the appropriate place for the resolution of disputes over what he may watch on TV - he just looses a tenth of his pocket-money if it is not switched off in the next minute...