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How do you build a healthy attachment to a romantic interest?
EternalMoon13
The first thing to do is decide whether you already have an unhealthy attachment or not. An unhealthy attachment is characterized by an INSTANT and overpowering attraction, this is not true love, and it begins with obsession. There is even a disorder called Relationship Dependency (RD) which can become very serious if unrecognized.
To build a healthy attachment, first get rid of any obsession or unhealthy attachment you already have and start fresh. I am in a similar situation with my ex right now, he broke up with me because I got obsessed with him and now he is showing signs of liking me again. As a person, I love him very much - as a boyfriend, I still like him. But I can't be in a healthy relationship with him until I learn how to take down the unhealthy attachment. One way to do this is separate yourself from him for a short period of time, take a look at yourself, and are you getting obsessed to the point where you can't carry on with your life for thinking about him? If you are, that's an unhealthy attachment, distance yourself from him.
If he is a really good find (my ex is, you don't find people like that around, especially not in 16-year-old boys), then the thing to do is let him go for a time, relax, wean yourself off the addiction. Then, when you think you are ready, start fresh with him keeping in mind to build a healthy attachment with him, and above all TAKE YOUR TIME. Nothing freaks out a boy like moving too fast.
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∙ 13y ago
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I have an unhealthy attachment to a man I used to date and he is a wonderful person I want to have a healthy relationship with but not an unhealthy one how do I build a healthy attachment?
You let the man come to you if he doesn't then let it be it would never be healthy int eh first place. The thinks he is suppose to be in control so let him have it!
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