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This is a difficult question, and the answer you will find you are most likely to be given most of the time is "Realise that it is his loss and move on; find yourself something better, someone who deserves you" However, if we are honest with ourselves, we all know that this is far easier said than done.
An alternative response to the question would be to allow yourself to feel how you are feeling. Obviously do not allow your emotions to run riot with you, but it is important that you realise that they are not something to be ashamed of and shunted to the side. If anything this causes greater problems later on. Only you know exactly how you are feeling, but if you can find a friend you are sure you can confide in, then do so; you will feel better after having got it off your chest.
I would also say that the traditional answer is wrong in several ways
1) it suggests that your emotions can be wrong, which i do not believe is the case; they are feelings, not facts and cannot be wrong
2) it says that there is no personal loss to you, which contradicts your feelings and therefore makes you discount the entirety of the statement. Of course you have suffered a personal loss, otherwise you wouldn't be grieving
3) it says that the boy was not deserving of your affection. This may be the case in the opinion of many others, however, as far as you are concerned, he was the most deserving person in the world.
Therefore, the statement proves itself to be untrue be contradicting its own intenetion of consoling a person.
I say the steps to getting over someone are:
1) grieve - allow yourself to feel the emotions for a day or two
2) let go - realise that it isn't the end of your life and that as long as there is the tinies glimmer of hope that something better or as good will happen again, it is worth the heartache
3) relax - don't rush into another relationship. You are likely to hurt yourself and others if you do so
4) something new - when you are sure you are ready and only then, start looking for someone new to love
Best of luck
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
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