How do you deal with the daughters of your new partner who hate you?

Answer 1

One reason that they may hate you is that they believe that you separated their biological mother and father. You are invading their space now - their territory so to speak. It will take time for them to accept you as part of the family - they may never think of you as 'mom', but rather a mother figure.

It's always a rough time in blended families ... give it time ... things may get better or could also go sour.

I am not sure if you were looking for answers to your question or just some empathy...I brought two children of my own into my current marriage and combined them with two children from my current wife. The combination of the two families has been difficult but we don't have issues as strong as "hate." From what I have heard, raising children that were part of your partner's relationship before you came into the picture can be a very challenging task for even the most disciplined, most patient people. My advice to you (for what it is worth) is to talk to your partner about how you feel (make sure you use the words, "I feel...") and see if your partner recommends a remedy. If your partner recognizes a problem, your partner should help you with the daughter. Keep using the words, "I feel" so that your explanations are not accusatory or insulting and hopefully your partner will help you. If in time your partner chooses not to help you, you will have to weigh out the benefits of the relationship over the suffering in order to justify your staying in the relationship. Good luck and keep your chin up! I am not sure if you were looking for answers to your question or just some empathy...I brought two children of my own into my current marriage and combined them with two children from my current wife. The combination of the two families has been difficult but we don't have issues as strong as "hate." From what I have heard, raising children that were part of your partner's relationship before you came into the picture can be a very challenging task for even the most disciplined, most patient people. My advice to you (for what it is worth) is to talk to your partner about how you feel (make sure you use the words, "I feel...") and see if your partner recommends a remedy. If your partner recognizes a problem, your partner should help you with the daughter. Keep using the words, "I feel" so that your explanations are not accusatory or insulting and hopefully your partner will help you. If in time your partner chooses not to help you, you will have to weigh out the benefits of the relationship over the suffering in order to justify your staying in the relationship. Good luck and keep your chin up!