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Not equipped to apologizeUnderstanding that the other person does not possess the tools to offer an apology can help you to forgive them. We all see things from our own perspective and respond based on our own past experiences. Some people are simply not capable of seeing that they have hurt another person. Forgive them for not learning this lesson earlier in their life, and wish them well.

Another problem with not forgiving someone is that it gives them power over you. Think about it. You're upset, maybe even raging about what they did. Probably spending much more time and effort on it than it's worth. Point in fact, you are giving them power over you because you are choosing to devote time and effort to the problem. But... if you forgive them for what they did it's over. Now, I did not say you're supposed to forget what happened, only fools forget. Just forgive them. After all, why should you let them ruin your day any more?

The bottom line to all this is that forgiveness really is a one-way street. Though it's hard to forgive someone who does not show remorse, and may not even feel remorse, it is a decision that we can make regardless. For your own health, '''decide''' to forgive them.

answerForgiving is unconditional. It nourishes the spirit. ANSWERi see so many people abusing other people because the other person forgives them, its not on.

no-one should abuse anyone and not be sorry and be forgiven to continue to do it again

sorry is something we all have to be at some point to learn true 'moral values' and people who are not sorry end up with self grandourous beliefs,narcissistic tenancies and hurt a lot of people

(and i know plenty of people like this, and plenty people who got like this due to never being asked to really be sorry )

if the person did this once, forgiving them will ease your mind that's true,

that is indeed a power they cant take away from you

but if they do it again, that will ease nothing.

and by doing it again they then are taking the power away from you

the person will have some problem that is making them internally angry and taking it out on you.

forgiving them every time only invites you to be hurt every time, invites them to never heal whatever problem they have and that's not helping anyone.

forgiveness is something that does have to be earned sometimes

you cant go about forgiving everyone for everything all the time,

look at society

there would be no punishment, no law, society would be pretty much anarchy.

people would do what ever they want with no fear of reprisal and confrontation

and those reprisals, the consequences are part of the reasons we don't all go around breaking the law willy nilly

is is really fair fair that you are a good person who can be sorry when you hurt someone but be hurt by someone who doesn't care enough about you to be sorry for that?.

some people do things to hurt on purpose they don't need forgiveness, they need to be taught like a child stealing another's sweet that that kind of thing is wrong,

forgiveness like everything else in life has its time and place.

only you will know if this person deserves your forgiveness, and only you will know if they have done or are likely to do this again, and only you can know if forgiving them will make you happy.

to forgive someone who isn't sorry, although it depends on what has happened , what they did, why they did it etc,

i can say when i had to forgive someone for something that ruined my life, and who wasnt sorry

i found that realizing and accepting that the person wasnt really to blame was what helped heal me and helped me eventually forgive them.

forgive them by realizing that really internally they have a problem that causes them to act out,

that maybe it isn't their fault (if that is true, ie maybe they have a mental illness or a disability)

that maybe they are doing all they can to 'fix' themselves (as long as they really are)

if they accept they have a problem and ask for help its always easier to empathise and consider what they must be feeling and to forgive them

New answerForgiveness is not about the other person. It is about you. The word actually means- to give for. Anytime we have an experience that we would have liked to have seen go better, we can imagine how it could be better and decide how we will respond in a similar circumstance next time. In doing this you are deciding what you intend to give for a better way. This represents a more productive use of energy. The return will be productive as well. Do not insist that the return be from any specific person, place, or thing. That will keep things the same and the whole idea is to change. As your attention is used imagining what you want rather than what you don't want, you will experience more of what you want. With your attention on changing the other person, you're missing the point.
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โˆ™ 2011-09-13 01:58:44
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Q: How do you forgive someone who is not even sorry?
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