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If you can possibly manage it, it is best not to try and get people back, simply move on and forget it. You see if you get people back then it is possible that they will try and get you back for that and the whole thing spirals into what is called a vendetta. No one wins in a vendetta and quite honestly if people have hurt your feelings are they really worth your time? You don't. We've all had our feelings hurt - plenty of times - and it is painful. But "getting them back" is never the answer. All it does is lead to more hurt feelings, and conflict that can sometimes never be resolved.

If someone hurts your feelings, there is always a chance they didn't intend to, and may not even realize they did. The best thing to do is to calmly talk to the person and tell them that they hurt you, and give them a chance to apologize, or at least explain why they did/said what they did, especially if it was a friend that hurt your feelings.

If the one who hurt you is more an acquaintance than a friend, or if you think the person did it deliberately, then the best thing to do is to ignore it. For one thing, if it was their intention to hurt you, then why give them the satisfaction of letting them know they succeeded? People do things for the "pay off", and if their intention was to hurt you, their pay off would be finding out they acheived their goal. And you are the only one who has the power to withhold payment they seek. If it was a friend, and the friend did it deliberately, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why a friend would feel the need to do that to you, and be honest with yourself. Could you have possibly hurt their feelings without meaning to, and didn't know it? If so, then talk to the friend and work things out. There are plenty enough problems in life without making more by trying to plot revenge for hurt feelings. Try to talk things through, and if you can't, then walk away and ignore it. The hurt will go away sooner than you realize, and you will be the better person for having the courage to walk away. You have to learn to choose your battles in life, and decide which things are actually worth a battle, and which ones are not. But just remember, for every battle, there is no winner, because the loser will then be plotting their revenge, and so the cycle continues.....

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15y ago
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10y ago

If the person who hurt your feelings is close to you, let them know that you have been hurt & describe the pain. Say, "When you do that or say this, it makes me feel..." You have no need to go any further.

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15y ago

Time is the healer like a great loss or death the hearler is time

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12y ago

first, say sorry. then find out what they like. use that information to make it up to them

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10y ago

Let them know that you have been hurt & describe the pain. Say, "When you do that or say this, it makes me feel..." You have no need to go any further.

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Q: How do you handle hurt feelings?
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